Compulsive
by xox-CrimsonKisses-xox
Summary: Paige and Spinner decided to stay friends after their breakup, but will Jay be the one who helps Paige when she needs it? Emotions are uncontrollable... compulsive.
1. Prologue, Here's To the Night

Summary: Paige and Spinner decided to stay friends after their break-up, but will Jay be the one who helps Paige when she needs it? Emotions are uncontrollable... compulsive.

Pairings: Paige & Jay... I might add some Spinner/Alex to the mix later on, but I'm not 100.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi: The Next Generation or any of it's characters or story-lines (and if I did I would make sure to have kick a story lines and marry Jake Epstein!) All of the chapter titles are various songs which I also do not own.

The rating for this story is T, but later on it might get closer to M... I'll make sure to let everybody know if that happens though (which it most likely will)... Last but not least, I started writing this story a pretty long time ago and so the timeline is sometime mid-season 4. The events of "Secret" already happened, but Alex didn't get sick, and she is still going out with Jay. "Time Stands Still" happened, but Jimmy wasn't paralyzed and Spinner hasn't turned himself or Jay in. "Islands In the Stream" and "Anywhere I Lay My Head" are the same. I have just about 90 of the story done already so i'll be able to update pretty quickly for a while. If there's anything that you would LOVE to see happen, just leave me some feedback and I'll see if I can work it into my story (I know that sometimes even the best stories could use some more episode references or plots, etc.) Well, now that that's all cleared up, I give you _'Compulsive'_:

**Prologue**

Spinner: You have to control everything around you!  
Paige: That's because every _one_ is out of control!  
Spinner: No, they're out of your control, and they're damn lucky!  
Paige: What is that supposed to mean?  
Spinner: It means that I'm sick of you and your bossy attitude!  
Paige: Well if you're so sick of me, then why do you keep coming around? We broke up weeks ago and the only reason why I agreed to be your friend was because I felt sorry for you!

(Paige's POV) Ok, so brutal public scenes are normally the highlights of my day; whenever I'm the one going 20 rounds it can possibly be even better. Under no circumstances however do I enjoy having a lover's spiff in the middle of a now crowding hallway with a guy who can very easily ruin my reputation with numerous secrets that I've shared with him. Hell, he can shout out some heinous lie and people would believe it just because we were together for so long! Note to self: Never let the admiring public know that you've been going out with a guy for longer than 2 months… 3 tops. Any lengthier than that and you're labeled as "the girlfriend". God, I hate being called "the girlfriend", I mean why can't people just mind their own business when it comes to relationships? I'd go into more detail, but I just remembered that I have to take care of my current furby problem before jumping into another "heated discussion".

Spinner: Well?  
Paige: Well what?  
Spinner: Well why are you still here?  
Paige: I'm still here because I was hoping that perhaps you would spontaneously combust from having to think so much. I mean processing such large words has got to be hard for somebody with as limited knowledge as you.  
Spinner: Well Princess at least I have enough knowledge to know not to go to a house party hosted by some guy from a rival school.

(Spinner's POV) Whenever I saw that look in her eyes I knew that I had gone too far. Ok, so I knew that it was too far before I even said it, but I couldn't just stand there looking like an idiot. I said that I was sorry immediately, but it was too late… she had already slapped me and stormed off with Hazel and Ashley by her side. The crowd of people broke up instantly, but I could still hear everyone whispering and talking with their friends. Paige broke up with me for being an ass, and now that she's finally talking to me I go and screw it up again. I'm such a jerk.

Hazel: He's such a jerk!  
Ashley: I can't believe he said that!  
Hazel: Paige, don't even pay attention to him. What Dean did was completely out of your control.  
Paige: Yea right. So you're saying that if we never went to that party then Dean would have found me on the street and forced me to have sex with him?  
Ashley: Paige, you know that you can't blame yourself. You've done so amazing in counseling; don't let spinner get to you.

(Paige's POV) I wipe a stray tear off of my cheek and nod like I understand. Really though I just want to punch the mirror behind me and shatter it into a million pieces. That way it would be just like my life: Broken but beautiful. Confused? I figured as much. You see growing up, whenever Dylan or my mom or my dad would break a mirror they would scream and spat out their fury and eventually sweep the pieces into the trash. The whole time they were doing that I would sit on the countertop, or the sink, or wherever the mirror was and just look into it as if it were new, and I always found that it looked better with accidental gashes and shards of glass that reflect an item 20 times at once. It's like looking into a kaleidoscope only instead of diamonds and spheres waiting for you, it's your own reflection. So, I let go of Ashley's hand, hop down from the sink, fix my hair & make-up, and tell my two best friends that I just need some time by myself. Normally they wouldn't leave me alone for a second in a situation like this, but Michalchuks can be extremely convincing when they want to be.

Spinner: You should have seen the look on her face! Pure genius!  
Jay: Wait, so what did you mean when you said it?  
Spinner: Oh, um… it was nothing. She just got drunk at some party a couple years back. Figured the queen-bee wouldn't want people to know that she can't handle her liquor.  
Jay: Man, that is classic. If Ms. Hot Sauce hadn't have given me detention I would have been front row to see you beat that smug look off of Princess Prissy's face!  
Spinner: Yea, well stick close. Paige has a way of running back to me whenever she wants something.  
Jay: I bet she does. So tell me buddy, scale of 1 to 10, how is she?  
Spinner: What?  
Jay: Come on man, throw me a bone here. If she's as good as it seems I got some friends who would owe me big time for getting them hooked up with her. She's gotta be easy to go at it with you right!

(Jay's POV) I patted Spin on the shoulder with a little chuckle and started toward my car. I would have stayed back and waited for his answer, but he had the weirdest look on his face. Figures, the guy is probably still in love with Spirit-chuk. I can see the physical attraction, but personality wise I have no idea why anybody would want to listen to her shrill, nagging, complaining voice. I guess Mason's just got it bad for Malibu Barbie. It's a shame though I could really use one of my friends to pawn Alex off too. Lately she's been as annoying as the Princess herself. And trust me, if I didn't know that Alex would crush my ribs into my lungs, I would dump her the second I see her tonight. Well maybe we'd do it a couple of times first… for memories sake.

**Chapter 1 – Here's to the Night**

Paige was walking alone in one of the allies nearby her house as the sun was setting in the distance. She had her arms wrapping her thin sweater close and was biting the corner of her bottom lip. That seemed to be her habit these days… not the walking alone part, but biting her lip. It was something that she started to do to look cute and ended up not being able to shake. It didn't matter though because she was determined that nobody would even notice the small little things that she did in awkward or boring moments. After about 10 minutes of walking she turned onto the corner of The Dot. Normally she would have gone in, but after the whole fiasco with Spinner early that day she decided it best to just keep walking. As soon as she stepped off the curb though, a car came right at her, missing her by a foot.

(Paige's POV) The second I stepped off of that curb everything started to go wrong. I was really scared at first when the car was coming at me, but once it stopped and I saw who was driving, I was just plain annoyed. I mean, first the fight with Spinner and now I almost get flattened by Degrassi's wannabe bad ass.

Paige: Nice driving! What are you trying to do land yourself in jail? Trust me; you can get yourself arrested without having to kill an innocent pedestrian!  
Jay: Now that's funny! You and innocent in the same sentence.

I was just about fuming when he said that snide little remark. Where does Jay Hogart of all people get off implying something like that to me? Anyways, he opened the door and stood next to his car while I tried to walk away without saying anything back. I failed.

Paige: Ugh, you probably don't even know what the word means! Unless your parole officer gave you a dictionary the last time you two had a visit. Why do I even waist my time talking to an idiot like you?  
Jay: I think it's because you want me.

There it was again. That smug look like he thinks that he's god and knows everything about everyone. I rolled my eyes in disgust and started to walk across the street. I got no further than 2 steps before I realized that I must have twisted my ankle trying to avoid Jay's civic. I stumbled a bit and then reached to my ankle. God it hurt. It's just my luck too seeing as I decided to leave my cell phone at home! I was about to make yet another piercing remark to Jay for causing me this pain, but to my complete shock he leapt out from behind his car door to catch me. I starred into his eyes for what seemed like an hour before I decided it was time to break the bonding moment before something even stranger happened. I'm not sure what it was, but there was something in Jay's eyes that hypnotized me.

Paige: Wow, I must be hallucinating! Is the great Jay Hogart actually worried about the girl he almost killed?

Jay started to chuckle to himself as he clicked the alarm button on his car keys and started to walk towards the door to the dot.

Jay: Don't flatter yourself Princess. I just didn't want you denting my car by falling on it. Now if you don't mind I'm kinda hungry now.  
Paige: What? Jay! Wait, you can't just leave me here!  
Jay: Oh, why not? Little miss pom-poms forget her cell at mommy's?

I snarled at the comment, namely due to the fact that Jay was right, and decided that I didn't need his help. Paige Michalchuk can surely walk home with a twisted ankle right?

Paige: Ugh, forget it. Just go join your little boyfriend inside. I'll find my _own_ way home. Besides, there's no way in hell I want _you_ knowing where I live. I happen to like not getting robbed.

I started to amble towards the nearest bench hoping that maybe I'd come up with a brilliant plan for getting home. I was about half-way there when the astonish-fest continued; Jay scooped me up over his shoulder and tossed me gently into the front seat of his death vehicle. Before I had any time to react he had already climbed into the driver's seat next to me and started the car.

Paige: What the hell do you think you are doing! You do not just abduct people! Now stop this car right now!  
Jay: I gotta say I love seeing you squirm.  
Paige: Oh please! I am _not_ squirming. I **do not** squirm. Ugh.

Jay continued to laugh to himself as he turned up the volume on the stereo. I let out another sigh just to make sure that he knew I definitely wasn't happy and then I turned to the window as I forcefully sat back in the seat. Jay and I both sat in silence as he casually drove along making all the right turns in getting to my house. Every so often we would each pass glances at each other though I covered my tracks quite nicely by disguising my curiosity with spite. After about 5 minutes of driving Jay's orange civic turned onto the street where my house was, and it was then that I realized I hadn't told him where I lived before. What is he, a mind reader or something? This is what I hate about Rebel-without-a-brain; it's like one minute he's robbing vending machines and the next he does something completely unexpected and pulls it off flawlessly! I mean if somebody had told me that Jay would be giving me a ride home today I would have told them to go shopping for a straight jacket because there would be no way in hell that I would get into a car with him. Now though, it's almost as if I don't want to leave the confines of his orange sports car. Still there's this weird, almost endearing, quality to Jay, and whenever I'm around him I feel different than I ever have before in my life… I'm not sure if that's a bad thing yet. I snapped out of my thoughts in perfect time because Jay was pulling up past my curb and I knew that I _had_ to say something before he did.

Paige: Wow, so I guess you would have robbed me anyways. Shall I say stalker much?  
Jay: Don't let it go to your head Queen Bee. I wouldn't waste my time following you around all day.  
Paige: Well then Jester of Jackasses how exactly did you know where my house was?  
Jay: I don't tag along when you go speeding home after pom-pom club, but your little lap dog Spinney does need a ride every so often.

God, how could I have forgotten about Spinner? I mean I never would have expected him to be getting rides to my house from Jay, but I suppose that after the number I did on his car he needed a lift now and then from somebody… and it's not exactly like Spin has too many friends these days. But still Spinner hasn't been over nearly as much as he used to…

Jay: Hey! Earth to Princess!  
Paige: What? Oh… right. Well don't expect me to thank you. I mean you are the reason why I needed a ride in the first place.  
Jay: Whatever. Do you need guidance to the door or can you manage to carry the weight of your ego all the way up the drive?  
Paige: Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. If I'm strong enough to endure working at a movie concession I can most definitely make it to my room. Now if you'll excuse me.

I opened the car door and lightly stepped onto the pavement outside of the car. As soon as I knew I could hold my balance I started up to my door. Jay's car started once I was three-fourths of the way there and I turned slightly to see him giving the vaguest nod and backing down my drive-way. I continued walking and finally reached my door where I was greeted by my mother, upset of course that I had left my cell and was unreachable. Her eyes softened once she saw my injury, and I sat at the foot of the stairs as she went to the kitchen for ice. As I sat there I just starred out the side panels of the front door and thought about what just happened. Could it actually be possible that Jay has a heart? Could it be possible that I even care? Why do I feel like I _miss_ Jay? And more importantly does he feel the same? I have no idea what's going on anymore, the only thing I know is that the pain in my ankle has subsided and somehow I ended up sitting by the window upstairs in my room… thinking about Jay. _Here's to the night…_


	2. Twenty Four Hours

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Alright, so I got one great review for my first chapter of this story which either means that i'm doing an ok job, or that there are a lot of you reading the story so far you just aren't leaving feedback. That's ok though, because as much as I like responses, I really just want people to enjoy this story. Now I REALLY wanted to post this chapter yesterday (for Valentine's Day!) but unfortunately my computer wasn't being very loving! So, to make up for it, i have chapters 2 AND 3 up as soon as i hit upload (which obviously if you're reading this has already happened!) :D So just enjoy and leave feedback if you'd like.

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Chapter 2 – Twenty-four Hours

Jay was sitting at the counter inside of the dot waiting for Alex to show up. Normally they would have met at the ravine but Jay just wasn't in the mood for beer and drunken girls falling all over him. Spinner was just getting off of his shift, and he and Jay were talking before Alex arrived.

Spinner: So somebody said that they saw your car around here earlier.

Jay: You sure, man? I've been down at the ravine all day.

(Jay's POV) Alright so I'm lying. It's no big deal right? I mean I just don't want anybody going ballistic because I hit Princess Prissy with my car and had to give her a ride home before some psycho picked her up… wait a minute, I wouldn't care if a crazy man picked her up. Honestly, I wouldn't… why does it seem like I'm trying to convince myself of that? It's the truth god damn it! To hell with it…

Spinner: Well maybe it was somebody else. So what's gunna happen with you and Alex tonight? You wanted to break up with her right?

Jay: Yea, but I'm not too sure if that's gunna happen. I mean you know Lexi.

Spinner: Not so much, but I can guess what would happen to you if you dumped her before she was good and ready to do the same!

Spinner started to make 'whipped' motions and I started laughing at the pure irony of the vision before me. I mean come on; when he was with Paige he was like the poster child for Whipped Boyfriends Anonymous. Still though, I'm pretty sure that 'ol spinney boy didn't even realize what he was doing because he started laughing along with me before coughing a warning sign and nodding in the direction that Alex was approaching me from.

Alex: What happened? Did the walking hair-ball finally see his reflection?

Alex put her arm around my neck as she gave me one of our famous kisses and slumped back into her usual gum-chewing position. I heard Spinner mumble "at least I have a reflection" and I couldn't help but laugh.

Alex: Wow so apparently idiotic laughing is contagious these days. Hopefully only the brain defective ones will be subject to it. Come on Jay, the Montreal crew's waiting down at the ravine.

Jay: Actually Lex, I think that we need to talk.

I started to remove her arms from around my neck as Spinner bolted from the dot before any plates could be pelted in the direction of my head. I looked Alex straight in the eyes and she had one of those looks that she gets to tell somebody to back the hell off. I almost felt bad for what I was about to do. Still though, I couldn't just stay with Alex for the rest of my life due to fear of breaking up with her could I? Didn't think so. Besides I'm pretty sure that both of us are cheating on one another anyways so it would be like we were still together… hell Lexi and I always find ways back to each other. I guess there's just a connection between us that we can't find anywhere else; God knows we've looked. I mean between the two of us we've probably screwed half of the lesser Toronto area. We're both drunk half the time, but it's not like we're so buzzed that we can't even comprehend what it is that we're doing. I guess that after so many countless nights of kegs and occasional crystal meth you just get used to the feeling and it doesn't even faze you as getting drunk or high… you're just waking up. So turning back to the brunette haired raven standing in front of me with a half pissed, half terrified look in her eyes, I decided that the best thing to do was just get it over with. Of course I do need to go out the Jay Hogart way.

Alex: Tell me what you want or I'll deck your smug face in two seconds flat Jay, don't think I won't!

Jay: Lex, would you just chill.

Alex: Don't you dare call me Lex! Not when you're about to break up with me! So tell me Jay who is it this time? Somebody from school? Or are all of those girls to good to even look at your scum bag face? Let me guess, that red-head down at the ravine! What was her name, Erin? Ellen? You know what why do I even bother with a jackass like you?

Jay: You know Alex, you always assume the worst of me. Some guys might find that insulting. But still I know your heart is almost completely de-thawed when it comes to me.

I slumped back in my chair a little waiting for Alex to react in the way I _knew_ she would: She would say a bitter remark, bring up something from my past, and tell me never to speak to her again as she left. Sure enough, she started with the remark.

Alex: Well Jay how about I go and find another guy to see if it's insulting to him? At least now I know not to pick up trailer park scum like you. Oh but don't worry Jay you can disease all of those girls down at the ravine who haven't already been infected with an STD from the late, great Jay Hogart! Just do me a favor and never breathe a filthy breath near me again! Or for that matter just don't breathe at all!

Lexi started to storm out when I caught her by the arm and pulled her close to me. She starred at me shocked for about ½ a second before I pressed my lips to hers. The kiss was passionate and steamy, both of us still in the same position as before I ignited it. She ripped herself away from the hot embrace and stood shocked and confused as hell.

Jay: I didn't want you to forget how "trailer park scum" kiss.

With that I stood up and started walking out the door and towards my car, never looking back but still knowing the precise expression that Alex was making as I strolled out of her life. My best guess is that we'll be back together within 24 hours. But hey, you never know what can happen in twenty-four hours, right?


	3. Never Changes

Chapter 3 – Never Changes

Saturday morning approached as Paige sat at that same spot by her window looking out into the world around her. She had been sitting there all night thinking, writing, or sleeping. Every time she would drift off though, she was awakened in the worst possible way. She needed to talk to somebody before she was driven to insanity, but it was 5 o'clock in the morning and she had no idea who would be up at this hour. Instead she decided that she would take another walk, or maybe even go jogging like she used to. So she got up and changed into a pair of jeans and a ruffle top, grabbed her cell phone, and headed for the door. As soon as she turned her doorknob however she stopped and thought. _Ok, if I walk out the front door then mom will definitely be suspicious… Why does she have to be such a light sleeper! Alright Michalchuk, think. How can I get out of this house without waking anybody up?_ Paige gazed around her room and stopped once her eyes landed on the window leading to the side of the house. _Perfect! It's not like I haven't snuck out of the window before…_So Paige walked over to her window and began to climb down the tree that perfectly branched next to her room. She dropped her feet to the ground and then began walking to the sidewalk hoping that none of her neighbors saw and were going to tell her mother. Once she reached the sidewalk though, she noticed that somebody did see, and it was way worse than any neighbor.

Paige: (In a hushed voice) you know I thought I made it clear that I _didn't_ want you stalking me!

Jay: Sorry to burst your bubble Princess but I'm not stalking you. I just happened to be driving past your house when I saw the saintly Michalchuk daughter sneaking out of her window at 5 in the morning. What are you doing anyways?

(Paige's POV) Ugh, of all the people who could have been 'just driving by' why, and I repeat **why**, did it have to be Jay? There is no way I'm telling _him_ what's going on.

Paige: Shouldn't you be getting back to Alex now. I would hate for you to get in trouble with the wifey.

Great, now _I'm_ using stupid girlfriend labels! I knew I was going to go crazy.

Jay: Actually um, Alex and I broke up.

Wait a minute, did I just see honest emotion in Jay's eyes when talking about Alex? I should really stay inside at 5 a.m. Although with recent events I think that the whole world is just a huge, crazy mess right now. Hell, I think it's always been that way and I've just never realized it.

Jay: Do you want a ride or something?

I thought about it for a minute and had no idea what I should say until I looked to Jay and he was starring at me like I was the only person alive. Ok, so in all fairness I was the only person around, but still, there was just something about that look that was… enchanting. And then I got that feeling that I had had the day before, and I knew that taking the ride was the only thing I could do to stop me from going insane.

Paige: Just so that you're clear this doesn't mean we're friends.

Jay: Never would have thought it. So, where to Michalchuk?

Paige: Anywhere but here.

Jay: Hmm, somebody had a good night.

Paige: If you consider brain slaughter good.

Jay must have thought that I was psychotic… ok, so _I_ think that I'm psychotic! Still though, no matter what both of us thought about the other I was still sitting in this car with him about to tell him my hearts content, and it didn't bug me. Every time I opened my mouth to speak it was like Jay's eyes were going to burn into my soul so that he could help save me… and if there's one thing I need right now it's for somebody to save me.

Jay: Well if it makes you feel any better I'm sure that Alex has started a smear campaign about me by now. I broke up with her last night.

I looked at Jay half shocked and half sorry when he turned to me and for once in all the time we had known each other we were both looking into each other's eyes. It was almost as if time completely stopped; neither one of us was thinking about reputations, friends, romances, school… just each other.

Paige: Break-ups suck.

Jay: Tell me about it. If I'm ever going to break-up with somebody I have to make sure to go out the "Hogart way" and the only thing that does is make me out to be an ever bigger ass.

Paige: You think you have bad break-up karma? I demolished a corvette with Spin's new car!

Jay turned back to the wheel and continued driving (I guess it was the car stopped instead of time) while he let out a quiet laugh.

Jay: Well Princess when you put it like that I suppose you do have the worst luck when it comes to break-ups.

Paige: Hey, I never said worst! Just bad.

Jay: Oh, so you call a car crash, literally, 'just bad'!

Paige: I see your point. But in my defense, I got a job to pay Spinner back and then he cheated on me with Little Whorey Santos.

Jay glanced back to my direction once more as we reached a stop light, only this time he was laughing like a mad man, and just from the hilarious expression on his face I started to chuckle too.

Paige: Oh so you think that's funny Hogart? How would you like it if your _Lexi_ cheated on you, eh?

Jay: Hey, now we're not talking about me and Alex alright? We're talking about you and the hairball.

Paige: Look, Spinner and I were doomed from the beginning; it's just that nobody wanted to see it.

Jay: You really think?

Paige: Yea, I mean ever since I can remember there has always been something in the way of us _actually_ working as a couple. First there was Terri, next it was me, and then De-

I stopped talking dead in my tracks and hoped to god that Jay wouldn't ask what any normal person would…

Jay: and then what?

Great. How stupid can I be? Why would I bring up Dean to somebody like Jay? And now there's really no way out of it other than a great big lie… Jay might be an idiot but any dim-witted person could tell from my face that whoever I was talking about wasn't just some little hussy or a fling. Ok think Paige, think!

Jay: You know you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's not like I'm going to _force_ you to do anything.

I turned to look at Jay yet again, only this time I was scared senseless that Spinner had told Jay about Dean already. You see its one thing for me to let it slip, but to know that Spinner would tell _Jay_ my darkest secret made me wonder who else he told…

Jay: Look Princess it's not exactly like I'm saying tell me or die. If you don't want to spill then just forget it.

God, now Jay probably thinks that I'm some sort of freak who can't comprehend her own thoughts! He's practically having a conversation with himself right now… Wait since when do I care what Jay thinks of me?

Paige: If Spinner told you…

Jay: Told me what?

Paige: Never mind. I'm hungry; do you want to get something to eat?

Jay: Talk about changing the subject. Well I'm pretty sure that Spin wouldn't wake up before noon, so I think it's safe to say he's not working at the dot.

Paige: Perfect.

Jay: Yea, it's just peachy!

Paige: Are you mocking me?

Jay: Are you catching on?

Paige: Hmm, answering a question with a question; Tricky.

Jay: Well I do play my share of tricks… hell I play a lot of people's shares of tricks!

Paige: Yea well you've never gone up against Paige Michalchuk before. Growing up with a hockey star you learn two things; one of them is you've gotta get 'em before they can get you.

Jay: Nice philosophy.

Paige: Never changes…


	4. Noise From The Basement

**Chapter 4 – Noise from the Basement**

Paige: I'll have the classic cheeseburger, no mustard, no pickles, with a coke, and a side order of cheese fries.  
Jay: Slow down Princess, you'll eat this place out of business.  
Paige: No such luck Criminal, I enjoy things a whole lot more when they're fast paced.  
Jay: Well in that case, waiter double that order.  
Paige: Hmm, interesting; you challenging me Hogart?  
Jay: Wouldn't dream of it.

(Jay's POV) Ok, so I'm dining with Paige Michalchuk; it's no big deal. The fact that we're having an actual conversation? Shocking, but still nothing to light firecrackers over. I was just driving by her house whenever I saw her climbing out of her window at 5 o'clock in the morning, and I decided to stick around and find out why Princess was trying to go pink panther on everybody. Then she mentioned Alex and in order to avoid her sure to come questions, I told her to get in the car.

Paige: So Jay, why exactly did you and Alex break up?

I should have known she would ask me questions anyway.

Jay: Well I can say that it's not any of your business, but since you'll probably hear something pathetic about me from your swarm of friends that act more like a bee colony, I'll fill you in on what really happened.

Paige grinned slightly and I could see her eyes light up waiting from gossip to fall right into her greedy little lap. She flipped her blonde hair behind her left shoulder and leaned closer to me over the table while resting her chin on her hands. Just to tease her a little I mimicked her motions, minus the hair flip and chin thing. Then I looked straight into her eyes… god she has amazing eyes. Wait, what? Focus! Anyways, she arched her eyebrows at me as if demanding I start talking, and when I knew she was on the edge of her seat I simply said…

Jay: I got tired of her.

I tell you I'm a genius! The way her expression changed in a split second and I saw that annoyed as hell look on her face… yea it was perfect. But for some freak reason I kinda felt… bad. I mean she got this look like I lied to her or killed her dog or something…

Jay: You see Princess-  
Paige: You got tired of her! Like she was just some piece of gum… Or, or a shoe? Ugh, I mean what kind of a jerk feels like that!  
Jay: Paige I-  
Paige: What? Now you're going to try and take it back?  
Jay: Look! I didn't mean it like she was an old sofa or something, I just mean that we got tired of each other… there was nothing left between us!

Paige sat back on her side of the booth and shook her head a little while she seemed to be making a decision… most likely it was about me.

Jay: Look, Alex and I just don't fit like we used to… I broke up with her before one of us cheated on the other and made things a whole lot worse.

I stayed hunched over the table starring at Paige hoping that she would understand what I meant. The last thing that I need right now is for another girl to think that I'm slime from the sewers. Luckily, she took a deep breath and then nodded her head like she approved of what I was saying. Not like I care anyways though right... Right?

Paige: Sorry I flipped, it's just that the way Spinner and I ended… let's just say I felt like trash.  
Jay: Hey it's alright. I mean if somebody said that to me I'd be pretty pissed too.  
Paige: Let's just erase the last few minutes, Ok?  
Jay: Deal.  
Paige: So, not that it's any of my business-  
Jay: Are you honestly gunna to ask the same question? And since when do you care if something is your business or not?  
Paige: Actually, I was going to ask what you were doing driving around at 5 a.m., but if you'd like I can ask about you and Alex again. As for things being my business, I do happen to care about other people's personal lives and weather or not they want to keep them private.

I started laughing to myself just from being an idiot, and from the look on Princess's face I could tell she wanted an explanation. That's one of the things that drives me crazy! I mean the way she can make a guy tell her his every last emotion just by making a face… now that's something useful in life.

Jay: Do you always have to do that?  
Paige: Do what? Outsmart you? Beat you? The answer's yes.  
Jay: Surprise me.  
Paige: Is that an answer or a command?  
Jay: Is that a question or a fantasy?

As soon as I said that Paige rolled her eyes and let out the most amazing laugh that I have ever heard… It wasn't the usual giggle that she had when she was around her "friends", but it was real. She smiled and I swear the entire room light up… alright so in all fairness I'm pretty sure it was just the sun, but hey, a girl who can control the sun is definitely hot.

Paige: Hello? Calling Dr. Illicit! What's with the day-dream face?  
Jay: What? Ah, yea, I was just thinking about something.  
Paige: Let me guess, fantasizing about your car?

I starred at her for just a second longer whenever the waiter came out with our food. I had almost completely forgotten that we ordered anything, and I'm pretty sure that Paige had too because she looked startled and then glanced around her. I guess the food took so long to make since we ordered hamburgers at 5:30 in the morning… Well anyways, working boy put the plates on the table and set down the check right before he gave Paige a once-over and winked in her direction. God this guy was y. It seemed as if he thought he could have any girl he looked at. I'm sure Paige noticed it too because she made a face of utter disgust.

Jay: Hey-  
Paige: I don't know who you _think_ you are, but let me just fill you in: You're not god, you're not famous, and you're sure as hell NOT getting a shot with me. Next time you try to pick up a girl go to some low rate thrift shop or better yet an ally way. I'm sure that anybody you find there will be willing to go out with you at least out of pity.

Damn, Cancun booby-doll sure does know how to shatter a guy's ego. She never even blinked. I gotta admit, if there's one thing Princess Prissy's good with its words, and yea I respect her for that… It's no big deal, just something about her that doesn't bug the hell out of me. Now where were we? Oh right, crushed hearts.

Jay: Well you sure do know how to handle yourself.  
Paige: Yea well I've always had to learn how to do things on my own.  
Jay: Aww did poor Paigey not get enough attention from mommy and daddy?  
Paige: Shut up walking prison slime! My personal life is really none of your business.  
Jay: Hmm, I'll take that as a yes.  
Paige: Ugh, god you think you know everything don't you!  
Jay: Of course I don't know _everything_, just the important stuff. Oh, and from now on you don't have to call me god.

I let out a chuckle and started to eat my burger. I loved this. It was like being out with Alex without actually being out with Alex. I mean yea, Queen Bee _definitely_ isn't Lexi, but there's just something about her… the way she moves, how she talks, those rare moments when she's truly happy about something… it's like she has the same bite and resentment as Lex, along with the strong will and virtue of another blonde I fell in love with. The thing that's driving me truly insane though is her eyes. They're the most amazing eyes I have ever seen in my entire life, and I don't even mean just the colour. Whenever I look into Paige's eyes it's like a fairytale of her life, only in the end she doesn't get the happily ever after… there's an intensity, and it's like she's screaming to the top of her lungs for somebody to save her, but no one can hear it. When I look into her eyes, Paige Michalchuk: Queen-Bee Wench extraordinaire doesn't exist anymore, it's just Paige; Sweet and caring, and desperate for somebody to love her… Wait, did I say that I loved Emma? More importantly, did I say I loved Paige! No, it was just the early morning fumes messing with my thoughts… Sure, Paige is cute and all, but love? No way. Hell, I can hardly even talk to her! Other than today of course… I mean, never… Except today, but not… Ah to hell with it! Who needs to think anyways!

Paige: So you still haven't answered my question. Why are you out so early?  
Jay: I could ask you the same thing.  
Paige: I just didn't want to be at home anymore.  
Jay: What if I felt the same way.  
Paige: Not possible.  
Jay: Not possible? What is there some rule or something that says you're the only one who can get tired of their house?  
Paige: No, but there is one that says you can't get tired of being somewhere you weren't. You're wearing the same thing you wore yesterday, and the clock on your CD player is 11 hours later than what it showed last time I saw it. If you remember, you told me that it resets every time you turn the car off for longer than ten minutes. That means you couldn't possibly have been home yet unless you left your car running or ran in so fast that you _couldn't_ get tired of being there.

Paige continued to eat her food after she let out a glory-filled grin. Who did she think she was; C.S.I. Toronto? I guess it's kinda cute how she notices so much… god! Stop it already Hogart!

Paige: Ok Jay, could you possibly eat like a civilized person? I mean you've already devoured practically the _entire_ burger.  
Jay: Just calm down and tell me the truth Spirit. We both know you wanted it.

I tossed the last piece of the hamburger into my mouth and swallowed right before I grinned at Paige. I meant it as a joke, but she looked like she just saw her parents get murdered… My face immediately changed and I moved my head closer to the table trying to get eye contact with her when the most startling thing happened. I saw a single, silent tear drop to the table. Paige's chin was practically touching her chest and she was slightly biting the left corner of her bottom lip… It must be a nervous habit. I sat, shocked, taking in the history making vision in front of me: Paige Michalchuk crying in a public restaurant. The question that was burning inside of my head though wasn't "how do I make it happen again," but "how can I make her feel safe?"

Jay: Look Paige, it was just a joke… I didn't mean to do… whatever it is I did.  
Paige: It's nothing… don't even worry about it.

Paige finally lifted her head and looked straight into my eyes. There it was again, that look like she was drowning… Only now, it was more like she was drowning and only I could save her.

Jay: Hey. Princess. Let's get out of here ok?

Paige wiped yet another stray tear off of her cheek while she nodded and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. As she stood up she started fishing through her purse, and took out her wallet. I put my hand out a bit and told her "I got it". She gave me a surprised look, most likely because she assumes I don't ever pay for anything, and then let out another small smile. I dropped the cash down on the table and followed her out the door and to my orange civic. I walked a few steps ahead of her, and opened the passenger door for her once we both reached the car. That's when she gave me that _look _that combines every girl I've ever cared about into one.

Jay: I figure I might as well go all out. The only thing you and I have been doing lately is shocking one another.

I shut the door and could see Paige let out a contemplative smile as I sat in the driver's seat and turned the car on. The radio was still blaring from the drive over here, and so I leaned toward the system and turned the knob to get some quiet in the car.

Jay: Where to?  
Paige: You wanna go back to my place?  
Jay: Is that an invitation?  
Paige: I just wanna go home Hogart.  
Jay: Well let's go then.

The drive to Paige's house was almost entirely quiet with the exception of some coughs and sneezes, and once we got there I parked across the street from her house and sat in the car after I turned it off. Paige took off her seatbelt, but she sat in the passenger seat starring down at her finger nails. I turned my attention to her hands too, and saw what I always did: Perfectly crafted and manicured nails. That's one of the things that I can always count on with Malibu Barbie… the closest thing to perfection.

Jay: You know talking might be a little bit more interesting.  
Paige: You wouldn't understand…  
Jay: How do you know that?  
Paige: Because I don't even understand.  
Jay: Hey you never know. I'm a pretty shocking guy.

Paige let out a sigh and tossed her head onto the headrest. I could see the hurt in her eyes again, and for some reason I just wanted to kiss her. I'm not talking hot, and rough, and leading to sex, but a real kiss with passion and emotion…

Paige: You wanna come in?  
Jay: Will your parents mind?  
Paige: You're kidding right? Mom works all day, dad moved to L.A. because of his job, and big brother Dylan is either at the dorms or hockey matches.  
Jay: Sounds fun. Notice the sarcasm.  
Paige: Even in the rare cases that somebody from my family is _actually_ home at the same time that I am, I'm usually just in my room or down in the basement.  
Jay: Basement?

Now this I had to see. I mean Emma's basement was amazing, and that's because it was just Emma. Paige Michalchuk on the other hand would have a basement that you could party in every single day.

Paige: Follow me.  
Jay: Can't wait to see this. Tell me Michalchuk, your mom get mad when you party down there?  
Paige: Please, my mom just thinks of me as noise from the basement.

Paige let out a grin and closed the car down. This should be interesting.


	5. Story of a Girl

Alright, So I'm not really sure what the point of this next chapter was supposed to be (or if I even had one), but I'm sure you all can imagine something... I did it a little bit differently than the other chapters, but nothing too confusing. I'm sure you'll catch on. 

**Chapter 5 – Story of a Girl**

(Jay's POV) We both got out of the car and walked to the side of the house that I saw Paige sneaking out by earlier. On the ground below what I assume is Paige's room was a small, sloping hill leading to a window. This is getting more and more like Sprout's place. I climbed into the window after Malibu Barbie and hopped down to the floor. Paige walked over to what appeared to be her dresser and started to pull out clothes while I just looked around the room. It was everything and nothing like I expected all at the same time. There were strings of lights hanging from the walls and ceiling, and four couches arranged nicely around the area. The dresser that Princess had just walked away from was next to what appeared to be the washroom (expertly coordinated with hot pink and lime green colours) and had pictures of Paige with different members of her family on top of it. There was also a glittery butterfly lamp and a few candles placed here and there. There was a square coffee table in the middle of two of the couches, and a giant pool table to the far right of the room over by the stairs. There was another shelf on the far end of the wall with a big screen TV, stereo system, movies, & CD's, and also a Paris lamp and some more candles. Looking around the room I noticed the little things that most guys wouldn't even perceive… The constant appearance of Paris, Eiffel towers, Venice, and London, the massive amounts of candles spread around the basement space, the few pictures that Paige had of her father, the sketches and fashion designs in a little group on one of the walls (something that Paige herself created), mainly though, I noticed a small journal that was sitting on one of the crimson coloured couches. Paige had taken the clothes she got from her dresser and headed toward the washroom to change into them, and I couldn't help but wonder what was in the journal. I mean, girls like Paige Michalchuk normally _don't_ keep journals, so why would Paige? I walked over to the couch and sat down quietly. I picked up the journal and noticed the cute drawings and doodles that Paige had designed the cover with… I have to admit, she does have a talent for design. I opened the book to the last entry.

_Dear My Dearest Diary,  
As you very well know, this is it… the one night that no matter how many years pass it will still bring tears to my eyes. Suave always had me write down my thoughts, and what I 'thought' was that that was the stupidest idea ever (I even wrote that once… or twice), so I suppose that this whole journal thing is her fault. If she hadn't enforced me to do it though, I don't think I ever would have realized just how much it can help. Ok, enough of my psycho love for journalism, I'm writing to you because if I not then I sleep, and if I sleep I dream. What awaits me in those dreams, I'm positive we both know. Sure, I'll have to go to sleep eventually, but until then I could use some healthy sorting of my thoughts! Things have been… rough lately. First and foremost, there was the tragedy of mine & Spin's break-up… that hurt like hell. I mean is there some secret rule or something that says guys have to shatter your heart? Of course, I'm the one who dumped him, but for weeks before that day he'd been treating me like his ex… he even started going after Manny (Let's not even START on her!). I don't know, I suppose that it was my fault to begin with… I mean I smashed Spinner's new car into Dean's prized corvette!_

Dean! How does Paige know a bottom-feeder like him? Last time I saw him he was taking some drunken girl into one of the vans down at the Ravine… and what the hell did he do to Michalchuk to make her demolish his car? Huh, maybe I should start at the beginning of this thing… it's not like there are _that_ many entries. Besides, Paige just called out to me from the bathroom that she was going to be getting dressed and I should make myself comfortable… I suppose I can finish this one first though. Maybe she'll mention me… not like I care or anything.

_Still though, Spinner was one of the extremely few people who were always there for me, and I'm really going to miss that. He came to me last week apologizing for how things ended with us and asked me if I could ever forgive him… I told him not so much forgive, but accept. I feel like an idiot now due to the fact that he and I have gotten into double-digit fights in just a couple of weeks! I guess the real reason why I agreed to be on speaking terms with Gavin is that if I ever REALLY need him, he'll be there… and that's definitely not something that I get a whole lot of. I mean honestly, I could count the people who I can trust on one hand and still have fingers left over! It basically boils down to Spin, Haze, and Dylan, and with Dylan away at University, and Hazel so preoccupied with Jimmy and her own problems, I can't help but feel like my only other option is to turn to Spinner for comfort… with all of the fights he and I have been having lately though, I guess that I'm just going to have to put on my always famous front that nothing is bothering me. It's ok though, I've worn that disguise so much in my past that I can hardly even tell the difference between what I really feel and what I pretend to feel… and I like it that way. Sometimes I'm just… numb. Like I don't actually exist, and my whole life has just been some dream from within the womb. At least that way I can escape from all of the things that just make me want to scream for the rest of my life. You know, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had never gone to the party that night; or if I had never gone upstairs, or if I hadn't lied to Spinner in order to get to said party. I mean people always say that the "what-ifs" will drive you crazy, but "what if" your life is already doing that? All I know is that no matter how much I try, and no matter what I do, I'll never get over Dean… I'll never get past the night of the party… I'll never get out of that room._

Damnit, there it was again; that feeling like Paige was an actual person, and not just a pom-pom pumping robot! I think that today has just driven me to the brink of all insanity. I mean eating with Paige, opening doors, using the word 'love'… it's just not Jay Hogart. The thing that gets me the most though is why the hell do I keep getting this weird fog in my mind anytime Malibu Barbie is around? I feel like I want to just grab her from wherever she's sitting, or standing, or leaning, and just kiss her without even saying a single word… _that_ is NOT normal! Queen Plastic is supposed to be the girl that self-appointedly sits on her imaginary pedestal and only interacts with my crew in order to find her way to the walking chart of hair evolution also known as her ex! Still though, no matter what we've done to each other in ancient times, I can't get past the things that I've seen today… especially not those eyes. Now on top of everything that has made me feel like Princess Precocious could actually be a part of my life, I find this Journal… this amazing journal that strips Paige Michalchuk of everything but her soul, and for that exact reason, there's no way in hell I can stop reading now. Taking it from the top…

_Dear Diary,  
Well, Suave asked for me to create a journal during my counseling sessions, and yet I feel the need to continue venting about my every day life… I suppose it's just a curse of the cursed. Where to start is a very good question though! I guess my main focus right now is getting caught up with my school work. I know that most people would consider me worrying about school work bizarre, but after all of the classes I've skipped (either to meet with Suave or just to stop myself from insanity) I'm really starting to fall behind. Another one of my spotlights is on spirit squad practices to get the girls ready for regionals. I think that I've actually been putting more effort into choreographing our routines that anything else… well, I guess that's all for now. I have another session with Suave today, so be ready for some "written thoughts" therapy._

What you did changed my life,  
I still can't sleep without my light on,  
Sometimes I look under the bed worried you might be there,  
I made a mistake going upstairs with you,  
But Dean you made more than a mistake,  
You made a choice.

Dear Diary,  
You know, I thought that telling Spinner would be the worst possible thing to do… he would think that I was a slut. Hazel kept telling me to just be honest, but when she knew that wasn't going to happen with Spin she went ahead and told him the truth about Dean and me. At first I was really upset, but then I understood that she was trying to help me and that she wanted him to understand (mainly because she said "I wanted him to understand"). Still though, all of my doubts for telling him came true when he didn't believe what Hazel had told him… then, some of my bigger fears were brought to my attention when I was about to go home and I saw Manny flirting with Dean. I decided to go and talk to Manny once she was by herself, but that turned into a disaster. She accused me of being jealous and said that I needed to get over it! Can you believe that? ME jealous of HER! Honestly, Little Miss Santos needs to realize the social world that she lives in and understand that if it weren't for me and the spirit squad she would still be just another grade 8 loser. Still though, Manny has her good moments, and that's why I tried to talk to her about Dean…

Ok, this might be the most idiotic idea in the world, but did Queen Bee actually sleep with _Dean_? Who knew a diary could be so entertaining!

_Aside from the Manny attack though, I think that today really has been a good one. I faced some "inner demons" if you will, and on top of all that, I think that Spinner is finally willing to give me another chance. Not to mention the fact that Dean got a game suspension and both JT & Spinner went after him… You know, I really respect JT for what he did. I mean Dean has got to be twice the size of him, yet he was in the gym within the drop of a hat to defend me. Spinner though… the way Spinner reacted almost made me cry (in all fairness I was already misty-eyed, but still…). It was like Spinner could just read every emotion that I had, and although that is something that I tend to be paranoid of, with Spinner it was amazing because I didn't have to say anything, and he just knew… He believed me, and he risked fighting with Dean to stand up for me. That look on his face is something that I'll never forget… and I'll never feel a stronger emotion. Ok, don't get all parental on me diary! I know that you're thinking that Spinner is bad news, but maybe I do have feelings for him… maybe he's the best thing that can ever happen to me… maybe._

God, how much of an idiot can Spinner be? I mean he has this amazing girl who's head over heels for him and he cheats on her with somebody who can't even find a guy who isn't already dating somebody! Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Did I just say that Paige was amazing? This diary is screwing with my head. Still though, what _is_ going on with Princess? I mean Spinner and mascot boy fighting for her? Counseling? This is just too weird. How about if I skip ahead a few pages…

_My Dear Diary,  
Well, grade 10 definitely started with a bang. Spin was being so amazing trying to get me the perfect locker as an anniversary present, but for some reason nothing was good enough. Then, in order to get Jimmy's locker, a.k.a. the alpha locker, Spinner tells the WHOLE math class that he has no backbone and that I completely run his life. I mean he said flat out that he was whipped and that he had no say in anything! After that, we had public break-up scene number 1… I was storming down the halls trying to get to my locker (located smack dab in the middle of "the wasteland"!) and he was running after me saying that he just wanted to talk to me. I was so pissed at him though, that I lashed out. I asked him if he wanted to call me a hag, or a shrew, or "some freaky, shrieky demanding wench". After that, he said that he didn't mean it and that he did it because Jimmy told him that if he said he had no backbone in class he'd give him the locker. That's when I said that he humiliated me to get a stupid locker, and he replied with "I have no idea how to make you happy", and "what do you want from me?" I shoved him against my locker and said nothing, ever, and then walked away… At lunch Haze and I talked about everything that happened, and she helped me to realize that Spin just did what he did so that he could make me happy, and by the time science rolled around, I had apologized and we were back together. I think the point of this little "experience" was for both of us to learn that there are limits for things we say, and exceptions for things we get… It's ok though, because now, there aren't going to be any road bumps on me and my honeybee's love track for a really long time. In fact, the only obstacle that I see between us now is our physical relationship… I mean Spin says that he's totally ok with taking things slow, but what 15, soon to be 16 year old is ok with just kissing? I don't know, I guess it's just my paranoia kicking in when I think that Spinner is going to get bored of me when I won't let things go any further… Or maybe I should just forget my thoughts and go all the way with him. I mean this thing with Dean was practically a year ago… I'm not going to get past it any farther because it's impossible to. I've reached the limits of my mind and now I should be able to be with Spin… Ugh, I hate indecisiveness. I suppose I'll just let whatever is going to happen, happen._

I turned a couple of pages and noticed an entry where the ink was smeared in some places on the paper… it almost looked like Paige had been crying when she wrote it and her teardrops made tiny little circles in various spots. It seemed to be the most interesting entry yet, but whenever I was about to start reading I saw Paige coming out of the washroom in one of the mirrors. I threw the journal underneath one of the many pillows on the couch and grabbed a magazine off of the coffee table. Wow she looked amazing… I mean this morning she was cute, but now… god! Princess came out of the bathroom with her hair in long spiral curls with the top half pulled up into a skinny pony tail. She was wearing a yellow tank top that had rhinestones all around the neck, lavender ribbons in bows around the straps, and a purple ribbon under her chest. God she had great boobs. Wait, focus! She had on this above the knee purple plaid skirt on with stripes of yellow every few squares… really above the knee. Not sluttish above the knee, but really hot above the knee. She was wearing white heels with lots of straps in a heap around her ankles, and she had on dangling diamond earrings, and her usual mass of silver necklaces. It's like she's a doll or something and there's somebody who paints on her make-up and dresses her up… After a second I remembered that I had hid the journal behind the pillow, and so when Paige turned to find her cell phone I quickly shoved the tiny book into one of the pockets on my pants. Now, I know it's wrong to take it, but in my experience, sometimes its right to do the wrong thing… besides, it's just the story of a girl.


	6. The Last Word

Ok, it feels like forever since I've posted (although I think it's only been a day or two!)... Anyways, as I said last time, I know that chapter 5 was very odd! I'm not quite sure where my head was at the day that I wrote it!  Hopefully this chapter will make up for it though! So far, this has been that chapter most fun to write and I hope that you all find it just as fun to read. Without further a due, Chapter 6: 

**Chapter 6 – The Last Word**

After finding her cell phone, Paige turned back around and noticed Jay starring at her.

Paige: I'll take that drool coming out of your mouth as a good thing.  
Jay: Don't let it go to your head; it's just that I never thought that you could actually look like a human.  
Paige: Hmm, Jason your denial comforts me.

(Jay's POV) Princess shrugged her shoulders a bit and walked over to her dresser where she put on a thick coat of a light pink lip gloss and a quick spray of a perfume from a tall sprits bottle. Once she was done she turned in her chair to face me.

Paige: So are you gunna be ready by 6?

I looked at her like she was crazy, and I'm pretty sure that she got the hint because she continued to explain her thought.

Paige: Jimmy's party? You are going?

Ah, now it all made sense. Princess Paige wanted to go to Brookes' party. Yea I had heard about it. What idiot hadn't? As soon as Hazel told Paige the whole school knew.

Jay: Now why would I do a thing like that Princess?  
Paige: Ugh, come on Criminal. It's the social event of the year.  
Jay: Gosh! And here I thought that the social event of the year was your annual surprise party? Oh dear, what should I do with my life now?

Paige could tell I wasn't about to cave to a social event, and she got that look on her face that was half pissed, a quarter annoyed, and a quarter sad.

Paige: Don't mock me. I just figured that since your friends were going to be there too that you'd want to go. Besides, I need a ride over there, and _you_ are right here. As for my birthday, I've only had one surprise party, and even then it was so obvious.

I pretend thought about it for a second… well I pretended until I saw Paige's pleading eyes and really started to think. What harm could come from a party anyways right?

Jay: Fine, but this doesn't make us a thing.  
Paige: Ugh, please!  
Jay: I know you want me, but you don't have to beg.  
Paige: Ugh! Just go into the kitchen.

I started walking up the stairs with Paige following behind whenever I realized that it was 7 o'clock in the morning and Jimmy's party isn't until 6.

Jay: Wait a minute Princess, Jimmy's party isn't for another 11 hours! Why are you dressed already?  
Paige: Because my dear chauffer, this isn't what I'm wearing to the party.

(Paige's POV) I raised my eyebrows a bit when I answered Jay, and as I continued talking I passed him on the stairs and proceeded with my walk to the kitchen.

Paige: Besides, there are some concepts that you need to get in touch with. First off, I have an 8:30 appointment to meet Miss Suave, and I'll be with her until 10. Then, I need to come home to meet Dylan for his lunch break. That means I'll be stuck here until 11:30. At 11:45 Hazel should be coming over to pick me up so that we can go shopping to get her an outfit for hers and Jimmy's "special night" on Monday. And _please_ don't get all perverted on me; it's their anniversary. Anyways, we'll be shopping until around 2, at which time we'll probably go to the dot for about an hour and a half. Once we're done there, Haze and I head over to Jimmy's where we're going to set up for the party. That'll be done at around 5, and then I get dropped off back here. From five to six is when I have time just to relax, watch some TV, listen to music, whatever. At 6, people will start calling checking on the status of Jim's party, at 6:10 I change into the top I'm wearing to said party and touch up my make-up, and at 6:30 you arrive to drive us both over to the penthouse.

I tossed a grape from the fruit bowl on the island table into my mouth and chewed and swallowed it as I slightly smiled at Jay.

Paige: Oh, and it's already 8.  
Jay: What?  
Paige: You know, no longer 7, not quite 9.  
Jay: Yea, I know how to tell time Princess, but are you honestly telling me that I've been with you for three hours and we're both still alive!  
Paige: As shocking as that may be, it's the truth.

I tossed another grape into my mouth as I studied Jay's expression. It was one of those faces that only the person making them could know what they meant… now normally, I would have pressed for information, but knowing Jay he was probably thinking about engines or something else completely unrelated to the subject! So I finished off one last grape as I rolled my eyes slightly and walked into the living room. Jay followed and sat on the reclining chair next to the three-seater couch that I was on. Unfortunately, the remote for the TV was on the arm rest of the recliner…

Paige: Give me the remote.  
Jay: So demanding. What if I wanna watch something else Princess?  
Paige: Then you can watch it at the TV at your house. You do have a TV right?  
Jay: Oh no, you see what we do is set up a big cardboard box with a square hole in the front and Ma and Pa do skits behind it!  
Paige: Ugh, very funny Neanderthal. Just give me the remote.  
Jay: What are you gunna give me for it?  
Paige: My nails won't get up close and personal with your face!  
Jay: Oh really Michalchuk? Well what if I do this?

Jay stood up from where he was sitting with the remote in his hands and placed it on top of one of the shelves in the living room.

Paige: Oh, that's funny, really it is, you're just forgetting one thing.  
Jay: Yea Princess? And what's that?  
Paige: I'm wearing 4 inch heels!

As soon as I said that I darted over to where Jay had placed the remote. Fortunately for me, when he grabbed for it he hit it towards me, and I was able to grip it just before he did. I ran back in the direction of where I had been sitting before when Jay came up behind me trying to grab the remote out of my hand. I alternated it between my left and right hands, and when I tried to turn around to toss it onto one of the other couches, Jay and I lost balance and fell onto the three-seater. I was lying on my back, Jay on top of me, with the remote still in my right hand which was hanging over the armrest. Jay's arms were on either side of mine and my left hand was crouched next to my neck. We both stayed exactly where we were, just silent. I looked up and starred into Jay's eyes. I had seen them before, but right now… god. Degrassi's wannabe bad-ass just disappeared, and Jay came into focus. I never really _noticed_ Jay's eyes before; I never noticed how hurt he looked… I wonder if people can see that type of hurt in my eyes. Jay and I were inches apart; I could hear him breathing a bit heavier than usual… It was just a matter of seconds, but to me it felt like an eternity. Jay started to lean closer to me, but right before he could kiss me I turned my head toward his left wrist.

Paige: Wow, the time! I, um, need to be getting to the, the… school to, to meet Suave.

Jay turned his head slightly and stood up in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, that _moment_ disappeared from my memory and all I could see was the same Jay who stole computers and cheated on his girlfriend… nothing had changed other than the fact that for a split second in time I let my guard down and it almost got me lunacy that I most definitely would have regretted by the time it was over. I stood up too, and straightened out my clothes while Jay just towered above me, silent.

Paige: Well are you going to say something or just keep starring like a bamboo stalk?  
Jay: Listen Princess, there's nothing to say, and even if there were, you and I are hardly on speaking terms, so I wouldn't tell you anyways.  
Paige: Fine moron! But just so that you know, our little moment of temporary insanity meant nothing. Now let's go.

I started to walk towards the front door of the house right after I saw Jay roll his eyes and let out an annoyed laugh. As soon as Jay stepped onto the path to the driveway I grabbed my purse from the small mail table, locked the door, and closed it behind me while I continued following Jay to his car and he continued ranting.

Jay: And since when am I your designated driver? It feels like the only thing I've been doing lately is chauffeuring you around.  
Paige: Well maybe next time you should try not to hit me with your car!  
Jay: Oh get over it! It's not like I did it on purpose! Although right now I'd love to have a second chance!  
Paige: Err! You know what Jay? Even if that could-have-been-kiss _did_ mean something, which it completely **didn't**, nothing would have **ever** happened between us! There's no way in hell that I would even sink to a level remotely close to your disgrossing dwelling you like to mistakenly call a life!  
Jay: Well that's just peachy Princess because I would never want to live on "Cloud Paige" where it's always rainbows and butterflies and **you're the only person there**! It's no wonder Mason cheated on you!

As soon as Jay finished talking we reached his car where he pressed the alarm button on his keys and unlocked it. I stood still for a second… Jay and I argue about everything, but it was never this hurtful. I mean normally it was just a bickering word or two from each of us and then we would go our separate ways, but now it feels more like the fights that Spinner and I get into… I looked at Jay, who had also stopped for a moment, and uncontrollably had a hurt expression on my face. When he turned to look at me, his face turned from pure anger to slight guilt… He had that same look on his face from when he told me that he and Alex broke up… the look that made him human again. Jay rolled his eyes one last time and began to speak again, only this time his voice was much quieter and calmer. I could still hear anger and annoyance, but there was also a hint of compassion…

Jay: Just get in the car Princess.

Ok, call me crazy, lock me up in a padded room, whatever, I know what I heard… I stepped forward and pulled the handle on the door. I got into the orange sports car and put my seat belt on as Jay started to open his door. Before he was completely seated he began to mumble something just loudly enough for me to hear it.

Jay: And since when can bamboo stalks stare at something?

Jay turned the keys in the ignition as I let out a small laugh. He must have heard it, because he turned his head away from the road slightly and gave his signature grin as he curved his attention back to driving. The ride to Degrassi was completely silent (not including the noise of the car on the asphalt), and both Jay and I sat quietly once again when he stopped the car in the school parking lot. With the situation same as before, me looking at my nails, and Jay glancing in my direction, I tilted my head upward the slightest bit and let out another small smile. I said "thanks" practically in a whisper, and started getting out of the car as Jay nodded at me as to say "you're welcome". Once I was completely outside of the car I closed the door and gave Jay one last smile before I started walking toward the entrance to the building. Thank god I'm going to go see Suave, because my head is spiraling with confusion right now!

(Jay's POV) Once Paige reached the front steps of Degrassi I quickly turned my car back on and drove away… alright, more like sped away, but hey can you blame me? No less than 15 minutes ago Paige Michalchuk and I were on a couch about to make out! Now tell me if that's not reason to take a power drive in order to clear my mind. I mean, I don't even know how it happened… one minute I was reading her diary, the next she came out of the washroom looking like a magazine centerfold, and then we're on the couch with no more than 5 inches separating us! I don't know… this whole week has just been crap. Really crazy crap… I mean seriously, Spirit-chuk! Come on Hogart! She did look really amazing though… wait, what! NO! No, no, no! She did NOT look great! Err! I punched the steering wheel with the side of my fist as I pulled over on the road. There were trees on the left of me and houses across the street on the right. I made sure to find a shady area, and once I was there I just sat in the comfort zone of my car.

Alright, so maybe there is _something_ going on with me and Princess… what's so wrong about that? She's a completely superficial, stuck-up, cheerleader who is actually a tortured, caring, and loving girl and I'm a guy who… does… stuff. It fits. You know before today, Malibu Barbie and I had one word conversations, and now I feel like I've known her my whole life. It's one of those feelings where you know that you just need to be around somebody because their energy just connects with yours, and you might not be soul mates but there is something that required the two of you to be together… what crap! I mean, I don't even get a say in this! What if I don't wanna be all touchy-feely with mini Madonna… screw it! All I know now is that the universe is a crappy place that tries to make everything turn out like The Breakfast Club no matter what anybody has to say about it.

Jay: Well universe, what am I supposed to do now?

I hit the steering wheel one last time before I turned my car back on and continued with my drive. Now I just have to make it through this freaking party tonight… what have I gotten myself into?

Ms. Suave: And I know that you've also been trying to get into the retail and design college in Van Couver. Now, your options are very extensive, and –  
Paige: Ms. Suave, do you mind if we take a little detour from my college plans road trip?  
Ms. Suave: Is there something that you need to talk about? I know that this week has got to be bringing up old emotions for you…  
Paige: Look, I might have had a slight squabble or two recently, but what I really need to ask about is something… odd.  
Ms. Suave: I'll help in any way I can Paige. What's the problem?  
Paige: Ok, so hypothetical situation… there are these two teenagers who go to high school together. One is similar to me, and the other more of a troublemaker. What possible reason could there be for the two to share any type of connection, or better yet… a kiss?

(Paige's POV) Suave let a small smile escape from her petite lips and let go of the "Guidance Counselor" eyes that she had been making the entire duration of our meeting. I love her for caring so much, but at times I really just need somebody to talk to and not a shrink… back to the conversation.

Ms. Suave: Well Paige, relationships can be tricky. You never know when love is going to surprise you.  
Paige: Ok, pause for just a moment! Nobody said anything about love.

As soon as I said that Suave looked at me like she was my mother and I had just been caught sneaking a cookie before dinner.

Paige: What?  
Ms. Suave: Paige, you and I both know that you've been through a lot in your past –  
Paige: What does my past have to do with anything?  
Ms. Suave: Well in this hypothetical situation, does the girl have a secret that would change the relationship even the slightest bit?  
Paige: Of course she does! These two never talk except in order to trade insults, in which the girl completely wins, and then he goes back to his girlfriend and she goes back to her life.

I sat in silence as Ms. Suave continued her attack on me with her eyes. What am I supposed to say here; that I love Jay Hogart? I don't think so! I can barely even stand the rodent! Most of the time… except for today that is…

Paige: Ok enough already! What do you want me to do?  
Ms. Suave: I think the question you should be asking is what do _you_ want to do.  
Paige: That's just it; I don't know what I want to do. I mean, in this situation we're talking two **completely** different people… not to mention the fact that this girl cannot sanely have emotions for this guy! He's like Billy the Kid for the twenty-first century!  
Ms. Suave: Surely this young man didn't become who he 'hypothetically' is overnight.  
Paige: Well no, but…  
Ms. Suave: But the girl you're referring to developed feelings for him anyways.  
Paige: I… I guess…

Ms. Suave and I sat thinking for a moment. Damn why does she have to make so much sense? Alright, so I _maybe_, quite possibly, _perhaps_, have **some** emotions for Jay… and don't think that I'm not including hatred and loathing in there! I guess I'll just let nature run its course… whatever is supposed to happen will happen. Now I just have to make it through this party tonight… what have I gotten Jay into?

Ms. Suave: Paige?  
Paige: Um, yea, sorry Ms. Suave… just… thinking.  
Ms. Suave: No need to apologize. However, it is 10:05, so unless you'd like to stay and discuss some more "hypothetical situations", our appointment time is over.  
Paige: Oh, wow… well, it's not that I don't enjoy your company Ms. Suave, but I do have a very busy schedule today.  
Ms. Suave: That's alright.

Suave nodded her head at me as a gesture for me to go, and as soon as I stood she said a few last words.

Ms. Suave: We have another meeting Thursday at 2:50. Oh, and Paige;

With my hand on the doorknob I stopped to hear what Ms. Suave had to say.

Ms. Suave: Tell Jason how you really feel.

I let out a slightly devious grin as I turned and exited from Suave's office. You see, she _always_ has to be right! And get in the last word…


	7. Glory Fades Pt 1

Hey everybody, now this is only half of chapter 7 (because when I originally posted this story chapter 7 turned out to be the start of some pretty long chapters!) but I'm going to post the second half after I get a review or two (which btw Felicia, thanks so much for your great reviews )  This chapter _is_ a bit of a cliffhanger though... Anyways, I have some lyrics from a couple of different songs in here, and all the information for those will be at the bottom of my post  Now, to continue with the story, Chapter 7 

**Chapter 7 – Glory Fades**

The day progressed slowly for both Paige & Jay as they began thinking about things between each other, and resenting the "forces" that have created this "disaster". Each one continued with their planned schedules: Paige with shopping and decorating, Jay with recklessly driving… At 6 o'clock sharp Paige was back in her basement answering calls and preparing herself for the party, and Jay decided that it wouldn't kill him to show up to her house a little early. He pulled up next to the curb at Paige's house and walked over to her basement window.

Paige: Yea, I'll be there soon. Ok. Bye.

Jay leaned on the wall next to the window once he was inside and smirked as he watched Paige throw her phone onto the couch and triple check her outfit.

Jay: A little insecure aren't we Princess? Or is that just your way of showing yourself how good you look?

(Jay's POV) Paige jumped back a little realizing that I was inside and rolled her eyes at me. I placed my foot back onto the ground and started walking towards her.

Paige: I'm not insecure! I just want to make sure that this is the right shirt to be wearing to the party.  
Jay: Whatever you say.  
Paige: What? It's the truth! Ugh, I don't even know why I bother with you!  
Jay: Well I think it's because you want me.  
Paige: Oh please, I wouldn't even want you if I had a brain tumor and thought you were Justin Timberlake.

I grinned a bit at the comment just because I knew from Spinner that Malibu Barbie is the biggest Timberlake fan… maybe that's her subconscious telling her to go out with me. Anyways, she turned back to her dresser and started to apply more pink lip gloss as I sat down on the couch she had thrown her phone onto. As soon as I saw it, it started ringing again, and before Paige could get to the couch I answered it.

Jay: Paige Michalchuk's answering service how may I help you? Party? Oh yes, there is still going to be a party tonight, in fact Ms. Michalchuk is already in attendance. Yes. Ok. Alright. I'll be sure to let her know. Thank you, and have a safe party.

I hung up the phone and set it down on the table as Paige started with that one of a kind laugh again.

Paige: What the hell was that? Are you practicing to be a game show host or something?  
Jay: A game show host? Where do you get game show host from?  
Paige: From that 'you've just won a million dollars' voice you were using.  
Jay: Well I do have television charisma.  
Paige: Don't flatter yourself. Now who was on the phone?  
Jay: Don't know.  
Paige: Well what did they say?  
Jay: Don't care.  
Paige: Um Hon, hello! _You_ answer _my_ phone and when you hang up you don't even tell me who it was? Were you raised on a farm or something?  
Jay: Actually, I was raised right here in this fair city, and before you get your panties in a bunch, there wasn't anybody on the phone. You're alarm went off.

I raised my eyebrows at Queen-bee and watched as she looked from me to the table and snatched up her phone.

Paige: Very funny Hogart.  
Jay: I know; I'm hysterical aren't I?  
Paige: If by hysterical you mean crazy, then yes, you are.

Princess Paige tilted her head to the side a bit as she let out one of her famous "you'd better stop talking" smiles and then started towards the stairs.

Paige: Now if it's not too much to ask, get off of my couch and into your car! Unless of course you'd like me to drive us to the party?  
Jay: Correct me if I'm wrong Princess, but didn't you get your license revoked?  
Paige: That was back when I was young and naïve.

I stopped mid-stairs and turned to face her.

Paige: And last week when I got it back I stopped being young and naïve. Now move junkyard boy.  
Jay: Whatever you say dumpster girl.

Princess slugged me on the shoulder as she passed me on the stairs and we both proceeded to my car. The drive over to Jimmy's was like all the other drives she and I have taken, only this time we actually had conversation. Talking about music, movies, school… I could hardly believe it when she and I ended up having a whole lot in common. When I pulled onto the street where Jimmy's apartment building was, we could see cars parked everywhere. I found a place across the street and turned off the engine. I was about to get out of the car when I noticed Paige still sitting in her seat.

Jay: You know, you seem to have a habit of becoming glued to your chair. I think our continued drives to everywhere in town prove that the passenger seat ain't goin' anywhere.  
Paige: We're not friends.  
Jay: Now there's a conversation jump. What brought that up?  
Paige: No, I mean maybe we are, but we aren't. Friends I mean.  
Jay: Ok, I know you already think I have the IQ of a raisin, but I'm really not following you here.  
Paige: At school you're the bad-boy and I'm the cheerleader; we're not supposed to interact like we've been doing… The second we step foot into that penthouse… all eyes are on us. And the second after that, we're torn apart and berated with questions… or at least I am.  
Jay: Did I hold a gun to your head?  
Paige: Excuse me?  
Jay: To make you get into this car? Did I hold a gun to your head?  
Paige: No…  
Jay: Did I threaten you?  
Paige: No…  
Jay: Weren't you the one who asked for the ride?  
Paige: Yea, but-  
Jay: But that's all that matters. If anybody has a problem with you and me screw 'em. You're as normal as the rest of us. You choose who your 'friends' are.

Princess sat and thought for a second and then let out her world famous grin.

Paige: Let's go.  
I could hear the music blaring from the hallway leading to Brookes' place… hell I could hear the music from inside of the elevator. Paige was a couple of steps ahead of me and once she reached the door she stopped. There were random people, probably not even students at Degrassi, making out in the hallway. I stopped a few feet away from Malibu Barbie and the door and waited for her to open it. Normally I would have waited for the person to knock, but the music was so loud that knocking would be as pointless as buying a car stereo system when you didn't even have a car. Paige looked up at me one last time, took in a breath, and plastered on her fake smile. I had always noticed (and usually made fun of) the way that the Paige Michalchuks of the world never seemed to really be happy. It wasn't until today that my suspicions were confirmed… after seeing the _real_ smile that Princess lets out, it'll be hard to ever think she's happy again when she's around her swarm of brainwashed followers. Anyways, Paige opened the door and both of us stepped into the room as soon as Spinner was running by with a can a whipped cream and Hazel & Jimmy stepped out of the giant dance crowd. Immediately all of them stopped, including Michalchuk. A few of the hundreds who were in the room turned and took notice too, but the only people who Paige was actually concerned with were starring at the two of us, almost in shock. The girl that Spinner had been chasing with the whipped cream was long gone, and Jimmy & Hazel had put down their drinks and moved closer to Princess and me. You know, people always say that if looks could kill… well, you know the rest. Right now, I'm **sure** that Paige is sending out death glares to her close friends whereas _I_ on the other hand am noticing the way that Spinner is redder than a tomato. Hazel looks a bit shocked, and a small portion upset, and Jimmy just looks like he's watching a banana dance. It seemed like an eternity was going by silently, and so I smiled the biggest grin I could and put my arm around Princess's shoulder. God if I could have had a camera then! I swear Hazel's mouth nearly dropped to the ground, Spinner looked as if he was going to explode, and Jimmy practically passed out from suppressed laughter! The one expression I'll never forget though was Paige's. She had the most amazing look on her face. You know how before I said that she got a look that combined every girl I've ever cared about? Well right now, she was the only girl who actually mattered. Every emotion I've ever seen Princess Prissy show was in a compilation on her face, and nobody else in the world mattered. After a split second, the look of complete shock that was most present faded and was replaced by a smile… one of her genuine, one of a kind, smiles. Princess shook her head a bit and walked out of my grip over to Hazel. She said something that will probably forever be a mystery to me and got Hazel to smile and hug her before walking off with a still grinning Jimmy. Spinner on the other hand stood exactly where he had been, looking like he was ready to kill somebody. Paige and I both walked over to him simultaneously and stood next to one another.

Jay: You ok buddy? You look like some random guy just walked in with your ex.

I let out a slight chuckle as Paige moved her hand and hit me in the stomach. She smiled a bit amused and then turned her attention back to Spin.

Paige: Look Spinner, there's nothing going on-  
Spinner: There's nothing going on with you and Jay? Is that what you were going to say? Yea, right, like I believe that!  
Jay: Hey-  
Paige: Excuse me, but what exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?  
Spinner: You never did waste your time Paige. One minute it was me, the next your little driving crush… I should have expected this all along.  
Paige: What are you talking about! And since when did you start dredging up stupid crushes from grade 10?  
Spinner: You know Paige, I should have figured that it would only be a matter of time before you tried to make me jealous. I gotta say, you really did do a stand up job thinking up this one! I mean Jay Hogart? That's classic!  
Jay: What's wrong with me?  
Spinner: Oh, it's nothing, it's just that you'd better watch out. You see, Paige cares more about her social order than she does people's emotions.  
Paige: Ok, that is so **not** true and you know it! If I _really_ cared more about social order then I would have broken it off with you back when you were the class clown that everybody felt sorry for! If I _really_ cared about more about social order then I wouldn't have confessed to wrecking your car! If I **_really_** cared more about social order then I wouldn't do this!

Before Princess even finished with her sentence she and I were out on the dance floor with Spinner flaring on the side-line. Damn she's good. I looked from Paige's face, which was looking amazing under the dance light, to Spinner who grabbed one of his whipped-cream girls and started dancing.

_Show me,  
Who you are  
Stop me,  
Before I go too far  
Cause it hurts,  
To hold back,  
So hold me or I might crack_

Gasoline, you're the match,  
I'm not sure if we could handle that,  
It might explode,  
Could be a mess  
I say we take the chance

Jay: Gotta admit Princess, you know how to hurt 'em.  
Paige: It's not hurting them if they've already hurt you; this is when it's called revenge. Now dance Hogart.

_I'm all mixed up,  
Confused,  
I don't know what to do,  
Cause I'd want to,  
I'd love to,  
If I knew you'd want me to,_

(If you're getting any closer then I'm gunna have to say...)

I know what I feel, and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss  
And who'll make the first move  
Who's gunna put their heart on the line  
It could be me, it could be you  
Tonight

The song switched from a fast paced rock song to a slower ballad and Paige placed her arms around my neck. I stood shocked for a minute. This girl really knows how to pull out all the stops. Spin had stopped dancing for a second to watch me and his "honey-bee", and so I locked my arms around her waist and started whispering stupid jokes and song lyrics into her ear. Once we rotated a bit I could see that Mason had started dancing again, but that his eyes were glued on Paige.

Paige: He won't stop starring.  
Jay: Can't say I blame him.

Crap! Did I just say that out loud?

Paige: Pardon?  
Jay: It's all just a game to him...

Paige nodded her head and continued dancing. After about a minute Spinner started getting closer to us, and so Paige leaned her head against my chest. I don't know why I keep being caught off guard by the things that she does… I kinda like it though. It keeps everything between us unpredictable and uncontrollable; almost compulsive…

_And I don't want to be the first to call  
To show that I still care  
'Cause every time we speak I fall apart  
You know you've got me there_

But time will make it all feel better  
Like suave upon a wound you soon won't see  
Time will erase the scars I've weathered  
But as for now it only hurts when I breathe

Paige took a deep breath and centered her head a bit more on my chest. The song continued to play, but the words seemed like a foreign language right now. The only thing I could focus on was Paige. The way her arms felt against my neck, how she seemed to be floating like an angel, the way her eye shadow sparkled like millions of tiny diamonds. Hell if I were Spinner I'd be exploding about now too… instead I rested my chin on the top of Princess's head. You know, I've never been the 'talk about your emotions' type, but for some reason Paige brought out the mushy side of me… not that I'd ever admit to having a mushy side. All I'm saying is that when I'm with her, I don't think about ways to get her into bed, but instead I think about what she's saying, and how hot she looks, and how she gets her hair to smell like cotton candy. That last one is the thing that drives me nuts though… It's not just a familiar scent or something that reminds me of it; no, her hair has the exact fragrance of cotton candy. I took in a deep breath like Paige had done moments earlier and closed my eyes. For a split second everything faded and all that was left in the world was us…

_And I don't want to be the one you love  
'Cause no one else is there  
I was never good as runner-up  
In races that aren't fair_

But time will make it all feel better  
Like suave upon a wound you soon won't see  
Time will erase the scars I've weathered  
But as for now it only hurts

Tarnished as this coin I found  
Now how am I going to make it through  
In the economy of pain  
A flowing currency of grace anew

The chaos popped back into my vision though once the slow song ended and another loud beating one began. I was preparing for Michalchuk to continue making the furby jealous, but when I looked down to her face she had her eyes closed and was still floating to the slow song. You know, no matter what my previous thoughts of her, she looks like a porcelain doll with her eyes closed… almost like if you touch her she'll break. I think that she finally realized that the song was over because she moved her head from my chest and looked straight into my eyes. God those eyes of hers and dangerous. Wait a minute, am I actually about to kiss _Paige Michalchuk_? Again… today is beyond unnatural. Well, what the hell, I told her to forget about everyone right? We both leaned in, never unlocking eyes, and when we were about two inches apart I felt a tap on my shoulder. I snarled at the type of idiot who would interrupt something like this and started to turn around.

Jay: Look punk-

Before I finished my sentence I saw Spinner standing in front of me, and before I could even think he punched me in the eye. Taken off guard I fell to the ground, but got up before he had a chance to kick me or try worse. Immediately I lunged for him and we both began brawling on the ground with everybody crowding around. Furby might be good at blind-sighting people, but when it comes to defending yourself I'm the king. I had Spinner pinned down on the floor and was about to punch him to where something would be broken once I moved my hand, but I felt two small hands holding my arm back. I turned around, my arm still in the air, and saw Paige standing above me looking completely terrified.

Jay: Go away Princess!  
Paige: Leave him alone!  
Jay: Why?  
Paige: Because this won't solve anything!

Paige was still tugging on my arm trying to lift me off of Spinner while he was squirming on the floor trying to get up.

Paige: Jay! Please!

I looked quickly from Spinner with a bloody nose and wrinkled clothes to Paige who had pre-crying mist in her eyes… her eyes that were pleading with me to listen to her.

_You only want me when I'm...  
Gone,  
It's over, all over, so over  
You'll never know  
What does it take to make you believe?  
How did we ever start?  
You deserve a broken heart  
Cry me a river we're so through_

I lowered my arm a bit as I stopped making a fist with my hand. Paige's grip lessened some, but she left her hands where they were to help me up. I pushed Spinner about an inch back and onto the ground while Michalchuk pushed past the people in the crowd and dragged me into an empty bedroom.

_It's over, all over, so over  
You'll never know  
What does it take to make you believe?  
How did we ever start?  
I don't deserve my broken heart  
Cry me a river we're so through  
Cry me a river we're so through  
Cry me a river we're so through  
I cried and now I'm over you_

To be continued...

**Song #1: Alexz Johnson - Could Be You**

_Show me,  
Who you are  
Stop me,  
Before I go too far  
Cause it hurts,  
To hold back,  
So hold me or I might crack_

Gasoline, you're the match,  
I'm not sure if we could handle that,  
It might explode,  
Could be a mess  
I say we take the chance

I'm all mixed up,  
Confused,  
I don't know what to do,  
Cause I'd want to,  
I'd love to,  
If I knew you'd want me to,

(If you're getting any closer then I'm gunna have to say...)

I know what I feel, and you feel it too  
I dream of the first kiss  
And who'll make the first move  
Who's gunna put their heart on the line  
It could be me, it could be you  
Tonight

**Song #2: Avion - When I Breathe**

_And I don't want to be the first to call  
To show that I still care  
'Cause every time we speak I fall apart  
You know you've got me there_

But time will make it all feel better  
Like suave upon a wound you soon won't see  
Time will erase the scars I've weathered  
But as for now it only hurts when I breathe

And I don't want to be the one you love  
'Cause no one else is there  
I was never good as runner-up  
In races that aren't fair

But time will make it all feel better  
Like suave upon a wound you soon won't see  
Time will erase the scars I've weathered  
But as for now it only hurts 

Tarnished as this coin I found  
Now how am I going to make it through  
In the economy of pain  
A flowing currency of grace anew

**Song #3: Tuuli - It's Over**

_You only want me when I'm...  
Gone,  
It's over, all over, so over  
You'll never know  
What does it take to make you believe?  
How did we ever start?  
You deserve a broken heart  
Cry me a river we're so through_

It's over, all over, so over  
You'll never know  
What does it take to make you believe?  
How did we ever start?  
I don't deserve my broken heart  
Cry me a river we're so through  
Cry me a river we're so through  
Cry me a river we're so through  
I cried and now I'm over you


	8. Glory Fades Pt 2

Wow! I feel SOOOOOO bad! I've completely abandoned this story! I was going to start a new thread to post it from the beginning when I realized that I already had one going! Well I hope that I still have readers interested in this fic because I've posted on Degrassi-Boards and gotten a lot of great reviews :D Again I'm super sorry about neglecting this so much, and so I'm going to post the next 3 chapters! Enjoy!

As soon as we got into the room Paige let go of my arm and closed the door behind us. The ceiling lights were off but there were two lamps that were lit at different ends of the room providing us with enough to see.

Jay: Empty room eh? Get a little excited watching that Princess?

I chuckled a bit and plopped down on the bed. I placed my finger on the cut on my lip and watched Paige as she walked over to the mini-fridge and got out and ice pack and filled it up. I waited for her catty comeback, but she wasn't making any noise other than the ice cubes hitting together.

Jay: You know that's normally where you pop in with some snide remark.  
Paige: What the hell is wrong with you? Are you deranged or something?

Paige sealed the ice pack and threw it at my stomach.

Jay: Whoa Princess! Calm down!  
Paige: Calm down? Calm down! You want me to calm down! You nearly got yourself killed out there!  
Jay: Hmm, do I sense some worry in Princess Michalchuk's tone?  
Paige: No! I just don't want to be responsible for anybody's death!  
Jay: Now in all fairness, _you_ wouldn't be responsible. Besides, I was winning that fight.  
Paige: I **would** be responsible because the only reason why Spinner punched you in the first place is because I went on a revenge spree!

Paige pushed her hair behind her ears and crossed her arms as she turned to look out the window. I set the ice pack down on the bed and walked over to her.

Jay: Hey-

As soon as I got close to her she rotated more so that I couldn't see the tears that were slowly creeping out of her eyes. I grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face me.

Jay: Hey, you listen to me! _That_ was not your fault. It was Spinner's fault for being an insensitive jerk, and my fault for being an egomaniac that can't walk away from a fight! You do not blame yourself! Once you do that you drive yourself crazy.

Paige glanced away from me for a second as she took in a breath. When she moved her eyes back to meet mine another tear slid down her cheek.

Paige: I just don't want to fight anymore… that's all I ever do. Fight for respect, fight for control… fight to feel alive.

I removed my hands from her shoulders and wiped away the tears that were sitting on her cheek.

Jay: I know what you mean. Believe me though; you've got so much more going for you than just fighting. You have friends, family, people who care enough about you _to_ fight… me? I've just got a reputation and friends who aren't real.  
Paige: That's not true. You have real friends… they listen to you, and you can talk to them. I only have Haze and Ashley. As for family, I think we're both screwed in that category.

Another tear escaped from Paige's eye and before I could even think about it I had pulled her into a hug. After a while Paige pulled away and slightly smiled at me. She walked over to the bed and sat down in the middle of the left side. I followed along and sat at the foot of the bed, turning back to see Paige.

Paige: It's never a party unless there's a fight right?  
Jay: You go to these things more than I do.  
Paige: Unfortunately I do… You know half the time I just come because Hazel thinks we need to "make an appearance".  
Jay: Well I'm pretty sure you made an appearance tonight.  
Paige: Ha… yea, I guess I did.

Princess let out a sigh and fell back onto the bed so that her head was on the pillow.

Paige: You know, everybody is going to be talking about this Monday.

Crap, she was right… I hadn't even thought about those brainless people who spread all the rumors at school. Just the thought of having to deal with all of that made me mimic Queen-bees drop onto the bed.

Jay: I guess I'll just have to get into a couple more fights tonight then… you know, stop people from talking about this one.

I laughed a bit as Paige hit me lightly on the stomach. She moved her hand back to her side and closed her eyes. We both laid there silently for a moment, and when Paige reopened her eyes she turned her head to face me.

Paige: Thank you by the way.  
Jay: No problem.

Paige and I stayed where we were, starring at each other once again. God how many times is this gunna happen? She started biting her lip and before I knew it I was moving to get on top of her. She looked a bit worried but at the same time happy. As I shifted I could hear the muffled sounds of a song playing in the other room… it sounded like Sic Transit Gloria by Brand New. Talk about irony. Once I was right above her I just froze for a moment realizing that normally in a situation like this I end up having sex with the girl…

Jay: Is this ok?

(Paige's POV) I thought for a split second and then nodded as I spoke.

Paige: Yea… just um… nothing.  
Jay: I've wanted to kiss you since this morning… probably before that and I had just never realized it.  
Paige: I know the feeling.

Jay and I stayed exactly where we were both afraid of what would come of a kiss. My heart was pounding faster than a hummingbirds and I starting feeling like I was going to pass out… this _is_ what I want right? At least a _version_ of it… I started opening my mouth to say something that's a mystery even to me, when Jay placed a single finger on my lips. He put his hand on my cheek and started moving it down to my neck. He stopped once he reached the top of my chest and he looked into my eyes once again.

Jay: I'll only take it as far as you want to go.

God he's so sweet… something I never thought I would say about Jay Hogart. I bit my lip once more as I nodded and smiled slightly. I took in another deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. That night with Dean was more than two years ago, but no matter what happened I could never seem to be 100 comfortable with physical situations… It was the same way when I was still together with Spin. Anytime we would be making out and he would try to get further than kissing I would get uneasy and walk out of the room. Still though, there's something different with Jay… I don't feel nervous just because of the situation (though it is a huge part), but I feel terrified that I might _let_ things go further.

Jay: You're so adorable…

I closed my eyes for a moment trying to escape the similarities that kept playing in my mind over and over again. It's just a word… it's just a phrase… Jay started gently moving my hair to my side and shifting his hand from my shoulder down to my fingers which he laced together with his. I'm pretty sure that my hand was shaking because he smirked at me a bit before kissing it. Despite everything that was screaming at me to run as far as I could, it felt right being here with Jay.

Jay: Just relax Paige.

I let out a small laugh that was more of a breath I had forgotten to let out and smiled fretfully at Jay. I shouldn't be worried, Jay said as far as _I_ want… if he were like Dean, then he would have done a lot more than just kiss my hand by now. I let out another laugh, this one real, and smiled once again. No, Jay's not like Dean… he's gentle and kind and everything I thought he wasn't. With that reassurance in mind I spoke for the first time, almost in a whisper.

Paige: When did you retire Princess?

I smiled again as Jay did the same along with put a surprised look on his face.

Jay: Ah, so you do speak.

I laughed again as I rolled my eyes.

Paige: Shut up!  
Jay: Consider me shut.

Jay looked down at me one last time as he reached for the hem of my shirt. Once he found it he slowly started tracing his hand up my bare stomach. _Dean STOP!_ He stopped just below my chest and started moving his hand to the clasp of my bra. _Just relax._ He undid the clasp in a matter of seconds and began moving his hand back to my chest. _It's ok Spirit._ NO! He's **not** Dean!

Jay: You're so cute…

_You're so adorable… it's all good… just relax… as far as you want… just relax… You're so cute… my friend's room should be quiet… just relax…_

Paige: STOP!

I pushed Jay's hand from under my shirt as I screamed. I stood up from the bed and began to run out of the room almost breathless.

Paige: I… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I can… I can't… I have to go.  
Jay: Paige! Paige, wait! PAIGE!

I ran out of the room and slammed the door behind me as Jay fell back onto the bed and punched one of the pillows.

_Keep the noise low,  
She doesn't wanna blow it,  
Shaking head to toe  
While your left hand does "the show me around."  
Quickens your heartbeat,  
It beats me straight into the ground._

You don't recover from a night like this.  
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.  
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.  
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets  
Barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared.  
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,  
He'd headed straight for the stairs.  
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,  
Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.

(Up the stairs: the station where  
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

He keeps his hands low.  
He doesn't wanna blow it.  
He's wet from head to toe and  
His eyes give her the up and the down.  
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.  
But the body on the bed beckons forward  
and he starts growing up.

The fever, the focus.  
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
Die young and save yourself.  
The tickle, the taste of...  
It used to be the reason I breathed, but now it's choking me up.  
Die young and save yourself.

She hits the lights.  
This doesn't seem quite fair.  
Despite everything he learned from his friends,  
He doesn't feel so prepared.  
She's breathing quiet and smooth.  
He's gasping for air.  
"This is the first and last time," he says.  
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.  
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.  
He's holding back from telling her  
exactly what it really feels like.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.  
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.  
Nothing that tells her is really having an effect.  
He whispers that he loves her,  
But she's probably only looking for...

(Up the stairs: the station where  
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

So much more than he could ever give.  
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.  
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.  
He waits for it to end  
and for the aching in his guts to subside.

The fever, the focus.  
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
Die young and save yourself.  
The tickle, the taste of...  
It used to be the reason I breathed, but now it's choking me up.  
Die young and save yourself.

Up the stairs: the station where  
the act becomes the art of growing up.

The fever, the focus.  
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.  
Die young and save yourself.  
The tickle, the taste of...  
It used to be the reason I breathed, but now it's choking me up.  
Die young and save yourself.


	9. Passionate Kisses

Well, this next chapter is a bit questionable in my opinion... Its important to the story, but for some reason I just don't like the way I wrote it... well, who knows, i might just be too picky!  Ok, here's chapter 8:

**Chapter 8 – Passionate Kisses**

As soon as Paige left the party she walked home thinking about everything that had just happened and all of her feelings for Jay, who did the same only he detoured to the ravine. On Sunday Paige & Jay both spent all day analyzing and pondering their feelings for each other and if they could survive in a relationship. Paige determined that the only way she could really be involved with Jay was if she told him the truth about everything, and Jay realized that in order to be with Paige he needed to slow down. Later that night Jay started driving to the ravine but somehow ended up parked in front of Paige's house. He walked around to the side of the house and started to climb into the window when he heard Paige talking. He stopped where he was and listened.

Paige: Stupid Paige! Stupid, stupid, stupid! You don't let a guy get that close to sex and then run off like a crazy woman! Ugh!

(Paige's POV) Why does everything always have to be so complicated? I mean I know that teenagers are supposed to go through tough times but it feels like I've gone through a hell of a lot more than a few rough patches!

Dylan: You know that's really not going to help your confidence.  
Paige: Thanks Dylan! That's truly what I needed to hear right now!  
Dylan: No, what you _think_ you need to hear is that you didn't do anything wrong and that it's completely normal for you to have done whatever it is that you did.  
Paige: Why do like tormenting me?  
Dylan: Because I'm your older and much wiser brother. Come sit.  
Paige: It's always going to be like this Dylan… me running away whenever things get physical.  
Dylan: You can't blame yourself.  
Paige: Thanks Suave, I know that! But I _can_ blame myself, and I've found that I do!  
Dylan: Paige-  
Paige: Look Dylan I think it's great that you're around whenever I need to talk to somebody, but I really think that this is something that I'm just going to have to handle on my own.  
Dylan: You might be able to handle it alone but that doesn't mean that you can't talk about it.

Dylan gave me that brotherly look that basically said "spill your guts or I'm telling mom." I suppose he's the one who I learned it from (although in my case it's "spill your guts or I'm spreading a rumor to the entire school district").

Paige: I never could deny that face!  
Dylan: And it's a good thing! Now tell me what's going on with my baby sister.  
Paige: Well there's sorta this guy…

I paused for a second waiting for a reaction from Dylan. When none came I continued.

Paige: He's not exactly in my social strata if you know what I mean.

This time there was a reaction… it was basically an all too knowing look that was completely wrong.

Paige: That's not the problem though! I mean sure it would take some people a lot of getting used to but it doesn't bug me anymore.  
Dylan: Anymore?  
Paige: Well I mentioned it to him and he set my mind at ease about the whole thing.  
Dylan: I see. What else?  
Paige: Well, he and I had never really talked before, but in the last few days we've been spending a lot of time together and he's turning out to be a really amazing guy.  
Dylan: But…  
Paige: But he's a really amazing, physical guy.

Dylan slowly blinked as he nodded his head up and down knowing exactly where I was going with this.

Dylan: Have you told him yet?  
Paige: No… I want to, I just don't know how.  
Dylan: Come on, what happened to my brutally blunt princess?  
Paige: She offended a dragon and was burned to a crisp.

Dylan and I both let out a couple of laughs and sat in silence once again.

Paige: We were in a room at Jimmy's party.

This time Dylan looked shocked and slightly scared… I suppose that it was due to the fact that my tone was mellow yet sad.

Dylan: Did he try anything?

I nodded my head and Dylan scooted closer to me comfortingly. I figured I should probably tell him the rest before he had a heart attack.

Paige: I let him… start I mean. I let him start.  
Dylan: But?  
Paige: But I flipped out and ran.

Dylan let out a breath that I can tell he had been holding in and left his eyes shut for a moment.

Dylan: You want me to tell you it will go away don't you?

I shrugged slightly and let out a sigh. To be honest that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted somebody to tell me that it would all be ok and for it to really be that way. Dylan read my face for exactly what I was feeling and patted me on the shoulder as he walked out of the basement. That's one of the things that I love about Dylan, he knows when to stay and when to go, and he and I can have an entire conversation without even saying a single word… Once he got to the top of the stairs I leaned back onto the couch and starred at myself in the mirror. I always wondered if people could really _look_ broken. You can feel it, you can cause it, but can you see it? In my case I don't even know what I looked like before all of the torture I endured with Dean. When I look in the mirror all I see is shattered glass. I don't see my hair colour, my eyes, my skin tone or my clothes… just millions of pieces that were placed back together over and over again. Sometimes I feel like one day I'll turn into Humpty-Dumpty and nobody will ever be able to put me back together again… at least I _felt_ that way. Lately it's like Jay can actually fix me… tape me back up and make me feel whole again. For some reason that scares me more than anything…

Jay: Stare any harder and you'll break the mirror.

I turned quickly and screamed as I saw Jay walking towards me.

Paige: What the hell! You can't just keep waltzing in here like you own the place!  
Jay: First off, I don't waltz. Secondly, I need to talk to you.  
Paige: Ok.  
Jay: That's it? No annoyed comment or witty remark? You must have had a really long day.  
Paige: Something like that.

Jay nodded as he sat down next to me.

Paige: How about you?  
Jay: You know how it goes.  
Paige: Right… so you wanted to talk?  
Jay: Well I wasn't quite prepared to jump into conversation; I mean I figured I would have to dodge at least 4 violently thrown shoes before you agreed to be in the same room with me.  
Paige: Why would you think that?  
Jay: Maybe because I took things way too fast.  
Paige: You didn't-  
Jay: I did. Otherwise you wouldn't have left the way you did and I wouldn't be here apologizing.  
Paige: You shouldn't be the one apologizing… I should be.  
Jay: Look, Paige, you didn't do anything.  
Paige: Exactly… I didn't _do_ anything. I didn't say anything either.  
Jay: I'm not exactly the brightest guy, but I sense a back story here.

I sighed as I stood up from the couch and started walking over to my make-up stand. As I continued talking I fiddled with the various items spread on top of the shelf.

Paige: I've been through some… stuff in my past. Um… Spinner and I got together because of some of the things that were going on… ha, ironically enough it was the same reason we broke up… It was bound to happen though… me and Spin I mean… I mean Spinner and me breaking up. Not like I planned it or anything, I could just tell… and I mean I didn't try to _make_ it happen just because I had a feeling, but I kind of knew all along… That's just how things are most of the time, but it sucks that you can't realize something until it's already happened. You know it's like that stupid cliché, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." Even more ironic… the whole cliché thing. I hate them, **so** much, yet it's like I'm a walking, breathing cliché!

I stopped messing with the things on my dresser top and turned to Jay who had a smug grin on his face and was looking up at me amusedly.

Paige: I'm sorry, is this _funny_ to you?  
Jay: No, I just think its cute how you get all nervous and start to babble.  
Paige: Ok, I was so **not** babbling! Babbling implies that you have no point and I totally had a point!  
Jay: Yea but then you started talking and it flew out the window along with your brain.

(Jay's POV) Princess made a face that was pure shock as she pelted a random high-heeled shoe at me. I knew there would be shoe flinging.

Paige: Ugh! You _suck_ at apologies you know that!  
Jay: Yea and you have bad aim. You missed my head by a mile! That shoe practically hit my knee.  
Paige: Who ever said I was aiming for you head? Which by the way is looking a little fat… perhaps it's your big ego!  
Jay: Now there's the Malibu Barbie I came to know and hate.  
Paige: Well if you hate me **_so_** much then _why_ are you here?  
Jay: To practice for dodge ball season? I just hope they don't use stilettos.

I chuckled as I picked up the shoe and "posed" with it. Paige had the most pissed off look on her face while she crossed her arms over her chest and started to tap her foot ferociously on the ground. There was silence for a second until Queen-bee finally said something.

Paige: Get out.  
Jay: What?  
Paige: You heard me. Out. Now! The door's right there! Oh wait, I forgot, you like to use the window because it makes you feel cool.  
Jay: Come on Spirit, you know you don't _really_ want me gone.

For a split second Paige got that _look_ in her eyes again… the petrified, enraged one, but then it was replaced by plain fury as she picked up shoes and items of clothing from around her and started throwing them at me in between words.

Paige: GET… OUT… NOW… YOU RUDE… OBNOXIOUS… LYING… JERK! Err!

As soon as she finished violently tossing the items at me she turned around and slammed her hand onto the dresser, and then slid to the floor in front of it. That was it, the same type of reaction she had at the dot… when I called her spirit… I walked over to the space on the floor where she was and knelt next to her. She looked like the only thing she wanted to do was cry but she wouldn't let herself, and so I put my hand on her shoulder. Immediately she pulled away and wiped her cheeks with the side of her hand. When she put it back on the ground I picked it up and laced my fingers with hers again. Finally she turned to face me. This is the first time that I've ever seen her so shattered… it's like the attitude that she has at school is really just a way to hide who she really is… like she's so vulnerable that if anybody gets close to the real her she'll break. I guess that's why she reminds me of a porcelain doll. I took my free hand and lifted her chin so that our eyes met.

Jay: Tell me what happened.  
Paige: You'll hate me.  
Jay: As appalling as it may be to the both of us, I can never hate you again… I didn't even hate you before.  
Paige: You said you did.  
Jay: I also said that I was 23 at a bar once because I wanted alcohol. Sometimes you just gotta lie to get what you want.  
Paige: So what, you want me to hate you? Keep going like this and maybe I'll get there.  
Jay: I don't want you to hate me. Complete opposite actually.  
Paige: You want me to lo-  
Jay: I want us to… hang out. A lot.  
Paige: I can hang out.

I smirked at her as I nodded my head and put my hat on the table in front of us. When I looked back to Paige though, she was looking at the ground thinking about something.

Jay: Tell me before your brain implodes.

She sighed and shook her head as she continued to stare at the floor beneath us.

Jay: You freaked the last time I called you Spirit too.

I could see a slight cringe as I mentioned the name. That had to be it, but what _exactly_ was _it_.

Jay: You don't want to tell me, fine.  
Paige: I do… I just, I can't.  
Jay: I think by now we both should have learned that we can basically say whatever the hell it is we're thinking.

Princess detached her hand from mine and started making her way around the room.

Paige: You won't understand.  
Jay: I seem to recall you saying that before.  
Paige: And I seem to recall not telling you before.  
Jay: Look Michalchuk, if you want to tell me then do it and you'll probably feel better, if you don't want to tell me then don't.

She smiled a bit and starred at me for a second

Jay: Are you trying to let me know with telepathy?  
Paige: You know the word telepathy?  
Jay: Now haven't we already had the discussion about answering questions with questions?

Princess started laughing quietly just due to the fact that she knew I purposely asked another question and so I stood up and walked over to her.

Paige: Can you even remember that far back?  
Jay: Wasn't it just yesterday?  
Paige: Was it?  
Jay: Should I know?  
Paige: Should we stop asking questions?  
Jay: Are you going to tell me what's bugging you?  
Paige: Would you be mad if I said you?  
Jay: Would you be mad if I said you're lying?

I gave off my signature smirk and Paige rolled her eyes while smiling. Yup, I definitely know this girl too well.

Jay: Do I win?  
Paige: Sit down.  
Jay: Ah, so I do!  
Paige: Shut up and sit!  
Jay: Yes, master.

We both walked over to the couch that we had been sitting on earlier and Paige took a deep breath while looking down.

Paige: These past few days have been… crazy.  
Jay: You can say that.  
Paige: Yea… um, I don't really know what's going on between us… not that anything has to be going on.  
Jay: Sounds like you want something to.  
Paige: Do you?  
Jay: You already know the answer to that one.  
Paige: Right…

Paige started nodding her head and so I lifted her chin with my head.

Jay: Relax. This doesn't have to be hard ok? Plain and simple, the truth is, no matter what anybody has to say about it, there's something between you and me. We both want it, and to hell with anyone who has a problem with that. Ok?

Princess let out another true smile and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Paige: I love how you can make things so simple.  
Jay: I don't make things simple; I just help you see the important stuff.

Paige's smile lessened as she let out a sigh. I put my hand down and waited for her to say something.

Paige: There's some important stuff I need to let you in on if we're going to be together.  
Jay: Speak.

I sat back in the couch and put my arm on top of it waiting for her to continue talking. She got up from the couch once again and started walking slowly around the basement.

Paige: I told you before I had been through some stuff in my past, I just didn't tell you what. And I know that this is going to change everything, and if you want to take back everything that you've said today, I can't stop you.  
Jay: Nothing is changing my mind.  
Paige: I wouldn't be too sure. You see, a couple of weeks after my fifteenth birthday there was a soccer match at Degrassi. I was there because of spirit squad, obviously. Um, Spinner was playing that day and he scored the winning goal… after the game Haze and I were walking, and I had been watching a guy from the rival team, Bardell. Spinner came up to us and talked a little bit before he asked me out for movies on Saturday. I said yes just as a friend thing, and Spin left to change.

Paige turned around from the stool she sat on a while a go and studied my face a bit before she stood up and started fiddling with her nails as she continued pacing and talking, all the while looking more and more nervous.

Paige: After Spinner had gone Hazel and I kept walking, and when we got to the front of the school I saw the guy I had been looking at getting onto his bus. Hazel told me to go talk to him and so I went over and knocked on the window for the seat he was in. He popped his head out of the side and I extended my arm so that he could shake my hand. I told him my name and he responded with "let me guess, cheerleader?" I told him that I was head cheerleader and that we called it spirit squad, and so he shook my hand once more and said "Hi Spirit, I'm Dean."

Dean? No way, it can't be the same guy. Dean is 19 right now which means that when Paige was 15 he was 17. Why would he have been competing with Degrassi? Still though, if it is the same guy and he called her Spirit then why does Princess freak so badly when anybody else says it? I continued trying to piece the puzzle together in my head as Paige continued stopping at various points around the basement. She was still talking, and once I started paying attention again I heard her say something about getting to Dean's party.

Paige: We talked for about two minutes before he offered to get me something to drink. He left when I said yes and one of the girls he had been talking to told me that I should be careful. I gave her my bratty look and told her that she was being jealous. As soon as she walked away, Dean walked up and handed me a drink. I took a sip and realized that it was some sort of alcohol and so I coughed a little but continued drinking.

I wanted to laugh a bit because I couldn't picture Princess drinking, but the tone of her voice made _any_ thought of humor vanish immediately. She sounded cold and distant and petrified. Three emotions I never would have thought Paige Michalchuk had.

Paige: After a while Dean was leaning against the side wall of the house and I was sitting on top of the railing leading to the back door. We were still talking, but after a bit he started starring at me and telling me how amazing my eyes were. I was totally falling for everything that he was saying and so when Hazel tapped on my shoulder and pointed me in the direction that Jimmy & Spinner were standing there was no way I was leaving the party. I had to get into the house though; I mean Spin still thought that I was at the hospital with my grandma… So after I told Hazel that I was so close and wasn't leaving I turned around and told Dean that it was so loud outside and that I wanted to go someplace a little more private. Immediately he put down his drink and took my hand leading me into the house. As soon as I got past the door he moved behind me and started whispering how cute I was into my ear while we pushed past everybody who was in the room. I stopped once we got to the foot of the stairs and Dean told me that his friend's room would be quiet…

Princess finally came to a halt on the side of the basement she had originally started talking at. Her back was turned to me, but the mirror above her dresser allowed me to see her face. She was looking down at various objects, but still I could tell that her eyes were filling up with tears. I moved from my slouched location on the couch and positioned myself at the edge of the seat with my elbows resting on my separated knees. I waited for Paige to keep talking as I watched her swallow what looked like a lump in her throat. After what seemed like an eternity of silence she started again, only this time her voice was way beyond any emotion I thought I heard before. She was practically talking in a whisper, but even then the unexplainable tone sent chills up my spine.

Paige: He said he wanted the lights off, so I let him lead me to the middle of the room. "You're so adorable"… the entire night I had been waiting for him to kiss me. I _wanted_ him to want to be with me. He tossed me down onto the bed and was on top of me a split second later. When he asked if it was ok every lesson I had ever been taught in my life was screaming no, but every desire for him I had was saying yes. Not so lucky for me the desirable side had a louder voice. "Just take it slow, ok?" How stupid was I to think a guy two years older than me would take it slow. I could feel his hand trailing up my stomach that wasn't even covered to begin with, and going under my shirt. "I _said_ slow!" It didn't matter to him though… He just moved his body up so that he was standing on his knees and he pulled a condom out of his pocket. Before I even knew what it was he had ripped the package open with his teeth and was un-doing his belt. That's when I realized that he definitely wanted me… ha, I thought that _everybody_ listened to Paige Michalchuk. I told him 'I don't think so' and tried to get up, but there was no way he was going to let me do that. He just pushed me down and held me there with one hand while he took off his belt and unzipped his pants with the other. Every once in a while he lowered his head to kiss my neck or my stomach and after a while I just felt numb. I had been screaming no so much that the word didn't have any meaning anymore… The whole time all I could hear was the bass of the music blaring through the walls and Dean whispering 'it's all good' and 'don't worry about it'. He was smart though… he picked the stupid girl who wouldn't know what his plan was until it was too late.

I sat there in complete shock. What was I supposed to do? Hug her, leave her alone? By this time there were tears staining her cheeks and I felt like I was about to murder Dean with my bare hands. Paige Michalchuk… Princess, Queen-Bee, Malibu Barbie! It doesn't matter what I call her because she's the same girl. A girl who before **two days** ago I had never had an actually conversation with! A girl who I always thought was the most conceited person ever to walk this planet! A girl who right now all I want to do is make her feel like she's the only thing in the entire world that matters… because to me it's true. She turned around to face me, slamming down a small porcelain flower causing it to shatter into billions of tiny fragments. That was the moment that I confirmed every thought I've ever had about her being like porcelain… Paige Michalchuk is beautiful and amazing, but that bastard shattered her into the ground and as soon as she finally glued herself together again Mason let her fall!

Paige: He bunched my skirt up around my waist, most likely to save his precious time! "It's all good. Come on Spirit." Then he pulled his pants down to his ankles and his boxers went with them! "It's Ok, _Spirit_. **Just relax**."!

As she was saying the last part of her sentence she hurled her phone straight to into the mirror behind her. I stood up from my spot on the couch but didn't move at all. Neither of us dared say a word as the room was utterly silent for the first time since I cared to remember. There were no cars driving by outside, no whimpers from blocked tears, just silence. Paige stood, almost frozen, in front of the now shattered mirror. I can almost swear time froze with her as she stood in a daze looking at the image reflecting at her. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally turned to face me. The tears she had been holding back for so long were now completely dried and the pain in her eyes was released. Paige stayed frozen in place with her eyes permanently locked onto mine as I started walking towards her. By this time my mind was erased of any thought other than what I was about to do. It seemed like even before I took a single step I was directly in front of her. I placed my hand in her hair and used the other to press her body against mine, and within a split second I brought my lips to hers causing the most passionate kiss either of us will ever experience.


	10. Secret Splendor

**Chapter 9 – Secret Splendor**

(Paige's POV) Ok, so brutal honesty is one of the things that I am known for most, and sneaking around has never been my strong suit. Still though, it's been two weeks since the night I admitted everything to Jay and in return he and I shared what will probably be the best kiss of my entire life… my point in saying that is, since then we've been practically inseparable… kind of. You see after about 10 minutes we finally broke away from each other and stood there kinda shocked for a sec. After that we started talking again and weighing out our options… that's when we both realized that we had an amazing thing all by ourselves and telling people would damage it. So, Monday morning came around and once we were at school, everything was totally normal… to everybody else. At lunch I snuck off from Hazel for a bit and Jay and I met in one of the side ally ways of the school (which is now christened "our place"). You know, Jay doesn't stop surprising me. I thought that he would be a total guy if we started going out and that he would get some y attitude because we were sneaking around, but he's still the same Jay who fought with Spin for me at Jimmy's party and who was there for me when I thought he wouldn't be. I thought for sure that after I told him about my past he would flip out and run and then come crawling back with an apology hoping I would say "sure let's go make out". It was like the complete opposite though… he kissed me, he hugged me, he said all the right things but still kept his signature attitude in tact, and most importantly, he didn't act like I was damaged goods. You know the thing that made me realize that it didn't make a difference to him was when he looked me in the eyes and said "Well how about _we_ do it so that you can have a memorable sexcapade." He had that cute grin on his face and let out that adorable chuckle and I knew just by his tone that he would **never** in a million years pressure me… it was like for the first time in two years I could relax; feel normal even… and I love that Jay makes me feel that way. So, here we are, sitting in my basement watching my choice of a movie. I had my feet resting on the couch cushion besides the one I was sitting on and was cuddled into Jay's chest with his left arm around my shoulders. The finally scene of the movie was coming up and so I scooted closer to Jay though I didn't even think it would be possible. I could tell that he probably wasn't even paying attention to the movie, but I love that he still stays with me and watches mushy chick flicks… although we do have to watch movies about guns and drugs every so often or Jay's head looks like it'll explode. I looked up to study Jay's expression, and due to the movement of my neck he shifted his vision downward.

Jay: What is it now Princess?  
Paige: Just wondering if you were going to cry at the movie again.  
Jay: Alright, for the millionth time Queen-Bee, I wasn't crying!  
Paige: Yea, you were just sweating through your eyes!  
Jay: Ok little miss big mouth, just watch the end of the movie so that you can fill your head with more "fantabulous" romantic scenarios that aren't ever going to happen.  
Paige: Just calm down Hogart, you get to pick the next movie we watch and I'm sure it'll be filled with guns and half naked girls.  
Jay: Hey I resent that! The girls are half dressed! Be a little optimistic Princess.

I smiled at Jay before turning my attention back to the screen. In all actuality, I don't really believe that anything semi-movie worthy would ever happen to me, but a girl's gotta dream right? I suppose it's just one of those fantasies that will never be fulfilled… I guess it's for the best though, because there's no way it could be as perfect as it always is on the big screen… I honestly love this scene though. The entire movie there has been a girl who could never seem to end up with the right guy and when she finally realized that he was right in front of her all along he was leaving. So, she did what any love struck puppy would do and drove about 90 miles an hour until she caught up with him. They both stepped out of their cars and, well you'll see…

_Kara: Haven't you even done something that you wished you could take back?  
Brent: This is completely different Kara!  
Kara: It's not! I chose the wrong guy! I wish I would have picked you.  
Brent: Kara…  
Kara: I've loved you since we were 5, I just didn't know it until I realized I might lose you._

"I had no choice, but to hear you. You stated your case time and again. I thought about it. You treat me like, I'm a princess. I'm not used to lying in bed. You asked how my day was. You've already won me over, in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet. And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are. I couldn't help it; it's all your fault."

Brent: Kara, can I have this dance?  
Kara: Of course.

-The End-

Jay: Oh, oh my darling Brent! Of course you can have this dance! Oh my!

I sat up from my cuddling position and playfully hit Jay on the stomach as he rolled his eyes.

Jay: What? I'm just saying that who in their right mind pulls over on the side of the road so that they can dance?  
Paige: Ok, Mr. Oblivio, first off they didn't pull over to dance, they pulled over because Kara needed to stop Brent from leaving, and secondly, I think it's romantic.  
Jay: You would.  
Paige: And what is that supposed to mean?  
Jay: Oh nothing, just that you were probably one of those girls who dressed up like the Disney princesses when you were little.  
Paige: I did no such thing!  
Jay: Oh really?  
Paige: Yea really.  
Jay: Oh, so there's just a random girl in that picture with your dad, huh?

I quickly turned and realized that the picture with my dad and me at Disney world was placed so that Jay had no problem seeing it. I blushed a bit as I turned back around and saw Jay's eyebrows lift as if he were daring me to come up with an excuse.

Paige: Alright fine, but who cares? Every little girl dressed up like Sleeping Beauty at some point.  
Jay: Hmmm, I bet none of them grew up to be so sexy though.  
Paige: Oh my gosh, was that a compliment from _the_ Jay Hogart?  
Jay: What are you gunna do about it?

Jay started leaning in closer to me, and as I spoke I placed kisses all over his face.

Paige: Maybe this… or this… and how… about…. This?

Once I finished my statement I finally reached his lips and we lied back onto the couch as we kissed. You know it's still weird to wrap my head around… making out with Jay Hogart… _sneaking around_ with Jay Hogart. It's all so wild, but I think it's just what I need. After a while we broke apart and Jay rested his body on his elbows still above me.

Jay: Do you know how cute you are?  
Paige: I think you've told me.  
Jay: You know any other girl and I wouldn't even be _in_ her house; just fooling around down at the ravine.  
Paige: Well I'm not any other girl.  
Jay: No, that's what I like. You have… a substantial essence.  
Paige: Ok, am I hallucinating or did Jay Hogart just say 'substantial essence'?  
Jay: Yea well, you're rubbing off on me Princess. I actually paid attention in English yesterday.  
Paige: I'm impressed.  
Jay: I'm not… I think it sucks. Now I have to act like I'm not paying attention instead of _actually_ not paying attention.

I hit Jay yet again as we both laughed and he leaned down to kiss me again. We stayed that way for a few minutes until Dylan cleared his throat from the stairs and we immediately moved to our original sitting positions. Dylan smugly walked closer to the two of us as I scooted a bit further from Jay. Jay on the other hand sat back in the couch and started laughing. I turned to scowl him, but the look on his face was so priceless that I started laughing too. I think that Jay found it amusing that I had somebody looking out for me the way Dylan does…

Dylan: Are we having fun all alone down here children?  
Paige: Dylan-  
Dylan: Ah! No, no. I don't need any details.

I rolled my eyes and gave Dylan a slightly sarcastic tone

Paige: Dylan!  
Dylan: I just came down here Paige to tell you that mom called and is coming home in half an hour. She wants you to start making dinner because she'll be an hour late on her schedule once she gets here.

I let out a sigh, mainly due to the fact that cooking dinner meant Jay leaving, but also because my mother could never seem to make it home on time.

Paige: Yes, master Dylan. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be right up.  
Dylan: Now do I have to worry about the two of you down here unsupervised?

I started laughing and threw one of the couch pillows at Dylan as I yelled to him "get out". He chuckled a bit and left the basement leaving me and Jay alone again.

Jay: You know thinking about you in an apron cooking… pretty hot.  
Paige: Ok, shut up!  
Jay: Just saying.  
Paige: You can leave now too!  
Jay: Fine but we have some business to finish.

Jay smiled his smug grin at me as he moved closer to me on the couch and pressed his lips to mine. After about 5 minutes I finally got him to leave the house and in return I started making dinner.

The next day at school Paige and Jay were sitting in English listening to Mrs. Kwan lecture. Jay seemed to be falling asleep, and Paige was passing notes with Hazel.

_(Hazel) So who are you taking to the dance on Friday?  
(Paige) I don't even know if I'm going?  
(Hazel) What? Paige! You **so** need to go!  
(Paige) Come on Haze, it's just a dance.  
(Hazel) Just a dance? Paige we've been looking forward to this dance for months. You can't bail on fall ball.  
(Paige) Ok, first off, can Heather Sinclair **ever** come up with a dance title that doesn't make you feel like dying? And secondly, it just doesn't seem as fun as it did at the beginning of the year.  
(Hazel) Is this because of you and Spinner?  
(Paige) What! No way! Me and Spin are over, end of story.  
(Hazel) Well it's just that when the two of you were together you were so excited about the dance. Now that you're single you don't even want to go… hey, how about I just meet Jimmy at the dance so that you and me can walk in together. We can find you a new boo.  
(Paige) Um Haze, when did you turn into Alicia Keys? And don't worry about it… I honestly just don't want to go. Trust me, it has **nothing** to do with Gavin Mason. _

(Paige's POV) I folded the note back into a tiny triangle and tossed it over to Hazel's desk. Once she was done reading it she turned her head to face me and gave me a look like she wasn't buying into my story. I started to mouth nothing while shaking my head when Kwan walked in between us.

Mrs. Kwan: Ms. Michalchuk, can you tell me what splendor meant in the verse?  
Paige: Splendor? Um, it meant magnificence or majesty.

Mrs. Kwan nodded her head as she proceeded to walk back up to the blackboard in the front of the classroom. I let out a sigh of relief that I had actually taken the time to study last night and waited desperately for the bell to ring. Finally, after 15 minutes the minute hand moved to the 12 as the hour hand was on the 3 and the bell went off signaling the end of class. I quickly gathered my things and started out of the class and Jay gave me a small signal to meet him in "our" ally. Normally I would have waited for Hazel after the final bell rang, but in my anxiousness to be with Jay I headed straight to my locker. As soon as I placed my Chemistry book in my locker Hazel walked up and leaned on the row of lockers next to mine.

Hazel: Alright Miss Illusive, spill.  
Paige: Colour me stupid, but um what are you talking about Hon?  
Hazel: Ditching on the dance, darting from class…  
Paige: Using way too many words that start with D.

Haze laughed at me slightly, obviously glad that I still had my old sense of humor and continued with her lecture. I finished placing everything in my locker and retrieving the books that I needed for homework, and then I shut the metal door and turned to face the still babbling Hazel.

Hazel: … And besides, now how can we pick out the perfect outfits together? Not to mention that there are going to be so many hook-up opportunities. I mean have you seen that new kid Ryder? He is like the definition of **hot**!  
Paige: Ok, just relax my over-exited best… I guess you were right. I just thought it would be weird going without a date…

So I'm lying, it's not that big of a deal. I'll go shopping with Hazel, we'll buy the best outfits in the Toronto area, I'll fake sick the day of and before the dance and then Friday night will equal me and Jay watching _his_ choice of a flick (god help me) all cozy on the couch… it's a perfect plan.

Paige: but hey, why should _I_ be worried right? Spinner and I are over and everybody knows it, which means that there will be dozens of guys pulling out all the stops to steal away my heart.

I started laughing as Hazel and I walked towards the front doorways of the school. Right before we stepped outside Hazel paused from her obviously ecstatic state and started with the questioning once more… you gotta love her persistence.

Hazel: So who exactly _is_ on your love radar?  
Paige: Come on Haze, you know I just go by the moment.  
Hazel: I guess… So hey, I'm free now you wanna get a head start on dress shopping? I saw this **amazing** little boutique downtown that _has_ to have something perfect for the both of us.

Now! Alright, Paige, you can fix this… It's not like I'm blowing off my best friend for my boyfriend, I'm rearranging my time with my best friend to hang with my secret boyfriend who I hardly get to talk to… that's a completely different story.

Paige: Right, about that… um, my mom is totally making me clean the entire house if I want to go to the dance on Friday. Would you totally hate me if I had to postpone?  
Hazel: No, it's fine. I mean this _is_ going to be the dance of the year right!  
Paige: Complete! Its gunna be a Michalchuk extravaganza now that I'm going!  
Hazel: Alright, well call me when you're done; maybe we can go down to the dot or something.  
Paige: Perfect. Well cleaning duty calls… ugh, I so hate my mother sometimes.

I started parting ways from Hazel as she and I continued with our conversation.

Hazel: Just think of her as a giant credit card!  
Paige: Yea, a giant lecturing credit card!

We both laughed and waved at each other as Hazel escaped from my view and I turned to the side of Degrassi where I saw Jay leaning up against the wall with a beer bottle in his hand. I didn't necessarily hate it when he drank, I mean of course I knew he did, I just wasn't too fond of it… ok, I wasn't at all fond of it.

Paige: Didn't your mother ever tell you that drinking was bad for your health?  
Jay: Didn't _your_ mother ever tell you to play nice with the other children?  
Paige: She did, I just didn't feel like listening.

I removed my sunglasses from my eyes and placed them on the top of my head as Jay walked towards me throwing the now-empty beer bottle to the ground.

Jay: Well I'm glad. I like you better when you're feisty.  
Paige: And I like you better when you're not talking.  
Jay: Wow, finally we have something in common.

Jay finally reached the spot where I was standing and pulled me into a kiss as he finished his sentence. I made a quick maneuver and pushed his back to the wall not breaking the contact the both of us thought about every time we saw each other.

Paige: So Friday… I thought we could have dinner at my place. My parents are out of town on business and Dylan's away at the dorms all week.  
Jay: I'm surprised at you Michalchuk.  
Paige: And why exactly is that? I _do_ know how to cook if that's what you mean.  
Jay: No, I mean not trying to go to the fall whatever…  
Paige: Well I have my priorities in line. And having the house entirely to myself is number one… I figured I might just toss in some bad-attitude for fun.  
Jay: Bad-attitude eh? You're gunna pay for that.

Jay finished his sentence and planted another kiss on my lips… I don't know what it is about his kisses, but they're so hypnotizing. Like nobody else is alive except for us…

Paige: Besides, if I were to go, Hazel would have me dancing with every eligible bachelor at this school!  
Jay: Ah, so that's what was up with you guys' glaring session during English.  
Paige: You see and I though you were asleep.  
Jay: No, that's just a way for me to get people to stop nagging me about shi… stuff I don't care about.

I smiled at the way that Jay refrains from saying vile language around me while he rolled his eyes and kissed me again, this time only stopping to move to my neck and earlobes. This thing with Jay is so much more confusing than regular relationships… normally one of you decides what you're going to do and when you're going to do it and the other obeys. With Jay and me, it's not like that at all. Although he likes to pretend like it's not true, we both listen to each other and compromise to make things right… talk about Secret Splendor.

------------------------------

In the next chapter of 'Compulsive':

Hazel: The dance is tomorrow night! You _have_ to go!  
-----  
Paige: We should _really_ stop.  
Jay: But we're having so much fun.  
-----  
Paige: Before you freak; let me explain.  
-----  
I stood up and straightened out my shirt a bit before telling Hazel to wait for me for a while and subtly moving to the back exit of the dot so that I could meet Jay in the ally.  
-----  
Manager: Mason, take these bags out to the trash in the ally.


	11. Catch You Pt 1

Hi everybody! I'm so sorry for (again) taking so long to update but school's been crazy lately and my computer was broken for a while! But, it's fixed now and I have plenty of free time to post the next couple of chapters  I hope you enjoy, so here are parts 1 & 2 (out of 3) of Chapter 10:

**Chapter 10 – Catch You (pt. 1)**

(Jay's POV) Books on the floor, TV on a music video channel, and me and Michalchuk making out on the couch… Never in a million years would I have wanted this to happen, but somehow its right. It's also crazy, weird, and compulsive, but you get the point. Putting everything aside though, I could really get used to this. It's not like Princess is _trying_ to change me, but she makes me a better person. Lately I haven't been wondering what I'm gunna get in trouble for next, and instead waiting until moments like this when I get to make out with one of the most popular girls in school. Ok, so I honestly couldn't care **less** about her "social status", but she has this off-limits air to her that makes this whole thing sexier by the minute… not to mention that we're keeping this a secret. I mean come on, what's hotter than sneaking around with the teen-queen of heat? So we continue to make out in her basement instead of studying like we originally planned on doing.

Paige: We should _really_ stop.  
Jay: But we're having so much fun.  
Paige: Yea, and we need to study.  
Jay: No, you _want_ to study. If you know your crap why should you study?  
Paige: Because Rebel Without a Cause, what if I _don't_ know the material?  
Jay: Listen to me Michalchuk, you know Shakespeare like you speak English. No sweat. Besides, we have an entire weekend to study for this thing.  
Paige: Hmm… when you put it like that.

Princess pulled me down onto the couch with her as we stopped our small disagreement and continued with the make-out session. Unfortunately, what neither of us realized was that we weren't the only ones in the basement anymore. From the bottom of the stairs none other than Hazel Aden cleared her throat and immediately Princess jumped from her spot underneath me on the couch to a sitting position far from where I was slumped. I looked from a shocked and likely appalled Hazel to Paige who had a deer caught in the headlights look going.

Jay: Well… this is cozy.

Practically simultaneously Paige and Hazel turned their eyes to mine, making "try to say something smart again; I dare you" faces.

Jay: I'll take that as my cue to leave

With that I picked up my hat from the coffee table and walked over to the basement window where I climbed onto the soft grass and then walked across the street to my car.

Jay: Got out of there just in time…

Paige: Before you freak; let me explain.

(Paige's POV) Hazel stood with a wide-eye expression as I sat on the edge of the couch trying to figure out what to say… it was useless though. It's like my brain is currently suffering from a blackout and I have to wait until the power company can get thought flowing again in order to make up excuses.

Paige: Ok, so I can't explain… BUT, I can beg of you, my all-time best, please be gentle on your concerned friend/hostile onlooker speech that I know is lurking within your bones right now.

I made the most pleading face I could and hoped that the yelling would be a minimum as Hazel remained in the spot she had been in for the past 5 minutes.

Paige: Out with it Aden, you're driving me crazy here.

After another minute or so Hazel finally spoke as she sat on the last step of the stairway, which reminder to self: lock the door when you're with your secret boyfriend.

Hazel: We're still best friends.  
Paige: Is that like a statement or a question?  
Hazel: Jay Hogart?  
Paige: Again.  
Hazel: Resident bad boy/criminal in training, Jay Hogart?  
Paige: Yea, that's what I thought too, but he's different. At least… with me he is.

Hazel looked down at the ground for a moment obviously trying to decide the best thing to say next. Weather it's going to be good or bad I have **absolutely** no idea.

Paige: If it helps, you're the first to know about us. Well minus Dylan, but that's kind of a given… come to think about it, Dylan did the whole creepy stairway, clearing throat thing too. Haze?

Hazel looked up at me with the same thoughtful expression as I continued talking hoping that it would help her to approve.

Paige: I really like him…

After about 3 seconds Hazel rolled her eyes as she smiled and quickly scuttled her way over to the couch and sat down next to me. I turned to face her and pulled my legs up onto the cushion as she did the same with one of hers. Immediately I smiled and laughed as we began our total girly detail talk.

Hazel: So how did it all happen? I mean it's not exactly like you and Jay talked to each other.  
Paige: Well it's really weird, but do you remember that day when Spin and I got into that huge fight in the foyer?  
Hazel: That narrows it down!  
Paige: The day you and Ash were with me in the bathroom afterwards.  
Hazel: Oh, _that_ fight… what does that have to do with Jay?  
Paige: Well after everything that Spinner said I needed to clear my head so I went for a walk. Whenever I was passing the dot Jay drove up and almost hit me with his car.  
Hazel: Wait, he almost hit you with his car? Was it on purpose?  
Paige: No! Haze, he might be a little immoral, but he's not murderous.  
Hazel: Sorry… so then what happened?

I explained everything that had gone on between Jay and me in the past two weeks while Hazel excitedly listened and pressed for **all** of the details. I was up to the part of me and Jay in the room at Jimmy's party when I finally paused for a moment.

Hazel: Paige!  
Paige: Ok calm down! A one second pause won't kill you!  
Hazel: That's what you think! Now spill your guts Michalchuk! This is getting way more interesting than I would have thought.  
Paige: Well, I was really upset about the fight between Spinner and Jay and I sorta felt like it was all my fault. Anyways, Jay was so… not Jay. He wasn't even the semi-sentimental guy I had been talking to; it was like he was a _completely_ different person. He hugged me and told me that there was no way I could blame myself, and before I knew it we were laying down on the bed…

Hazel had an absolute look of shock on her face while I just nodded my head and continued.

Paige: We didn't have sex or anything if that's what you're thinking, but there was this moment… I don't know, it was crazy. It was like, for a while I didn't have to think about Dean, or Spinner, or anybody at school… or even myself. I just thought of how everything felt right for once… of course that turned to crap as soon as I decided that I needed to start thinking again and I ran out of the room like a total idiot!  
Hazel: Paige!  
Paige: What, that's what happened!  
Hazel: So you're telling me that you were all alone in a _bedroom_ with **Jay Hogart** and nothing happened?  
Paige: I didn't say nothing.

Hazel's eyes grew wide again as she hit me with a pillow and pressed for more details. As I obliged it felt so good to finally get all of the secrets I've been keeping off my chest. Lord knows I have a royal difficulty keeping secret just so for long periods of time. Once I finally finished telling Hazel all of the details of mine and Jay's secret romance it was around midnight so Hazel called her parents to let them know that she was going to stay at my house for the night and we both tried to go to sleep but ended up talking most of the night.

The next day after school Haze and I decided to go to the dot. She, of course, was trying to convince me that Jay and I should make a "public debut" at the dance tonight, and I in return told her not to hold her breath.

Hazel: Come on Paige, it would be so perfect!  
Paige: Hazel it's a school dance called 'The Fall Ball'. How does _that_ and _Jay Hogart_ equal perfect?  
Hazel: Whenever you're in the mix with the two. Come on, you are like a combining element! Besides, with me on your side there's no way that anybody will be able to say anything about it. Come on Paige, please!  
Paige: No way Hazel! It'll happen over my dead body!

As soon as I said that Spinner walked over to our table to take our orders. It was **more** than a bit awkward, but what pushed it over the edge was when Jay walked through the door. Spinner finished with our order so he walked back to the kitchen and no more than 3 seconds later Jay slyly moved past the table Hazel and I were at making sure to slip me a discrete note and walk out the back door to get to the ally-way.

Hazel: You have a very sneaky boy-toy you know!  
Paige: Shut up!

We both laughed as I unfolded the torn piece of paper and read the message that was written on it. Once I was finished a laughed slightly to myself as Hazel yanked the note away from my hands and read it too.

Hazel: '_A1, 4:10, Got you a present Princess_'? Is this in English?  
Paige: It's a code we have. So that if anybody were to find one of these notes they wouldn't know who it was from or to, and they wouldn't know where we were meeting.  
Hazel: Ok, so where _are_ you meeting?  
Paige: Outside.

With that I stood up and straightened out my shirt a bit before telling Hazel to wait for me for a while and subtly moving to the back exit of the dot. Once I got to the door I quietly opened it and walked out to the ally where Jay asked me to meet him.

Jay: Took you long enough.  
Paige: I like to make you wait.  
Jay: Quit being a tease Michalchuk.  
Paige: I recall the word present.  
Jay: Right, your present… well let's see if you can guess. Tall, handsome, incredible witty-  
Paige: Perhaps an egotistical jerk?  
Jay: No that was yesterday's gift.  
Paige: One of these days I'm gunna make you _actually_ buy me something.  
Jay: I don't see that happening.  
Paige: Well maybe those sunglasses of yours have caused vision impairment.  
Jay: Oh, you have jokes now eh?

I started to laugh as Jay made his way toward me and spun me onto the wall opposite the back of the dot. I pressed my back against the wall as Jay placed one hand above my head and let the other one roam my hair, face, and stomach.

Jay: So this thing tonight.  
Paige: You mean dinner at my place or the dance?  
Jay: Dinner. Why? Have you changed your mind about the ever-so-amazing dance?  
Paige: Are you mocking me?  
Jay: Answer the question.  
Paige: No.  
Jay: No you won't answer or no you haven't changed your mind.  
Paige: Which do you think?  
Jay: Both.  
Paige: Nice, really. I haven't changed my mind. If nobody knows about us there's no way _I'm_ going!  
Jay: Good, because you would have to do a hell of a lot of convincing to even get me thinking about a school dance.  
Paige: Well if I wanted to…

Paige pulled Jay closer to her and left open-mouth kisses trailing along his neck. He started to laugh and Paige knew that he was getting that stupid grin on his face.

-------------  
(Inside) Spinner: Alright here are your meals, and— Where's Paige?  
Hazel: Paige? Right, um she went to the… washroom.  
Spinner: You're her best friend right? Never mind, I already know the answer to that.

Hazel rolled her eyes waiting for Spinner to ask some bizarre & random question.

Spinner: Do you think that maybe there's any way she and I can… well anyway she can give me… What can I do to get a second chance?  
Hazel: Spinner do you know what you've been putting her through? The things you've said… what you've done? What you did!

Spinner took a seat in the booth chair across from the one Hazel was sitting in and moved closer to her over the table.

Spinner: I've been a jerk… an idiot… a complete insensitive moron, but that doesn't change the way that I feel about her.  
Hazel: You brought up Dean in the school foyer!

Hazel kept her voice to a whisper but made sure that Spinner got the full effect of his actions. Directly after she said it Spin looked down for a moment and sighed before speaking again.

Spinner: I love her. She is everything in my life that I want to hold on to. If love is too much, then is there any way that she can even _talk_ to me again?

Spinner and Hazel sat silently starring at one another until Spinner's boss called for him to take the trash outside to the dumpster. Feeling that he was about to get much desired information, Spinner dejectedly left the booth and started to the back doorway. Hazel looked down at the table for a minute thinking whenever she realized that Paige and Jay were still in the back ally. She rushed up from the table hoping that she would be able to stop Spinner.


	12. Catch You Pt 2

**(Catch You pt.2)**

_Spinner and Hazel sat silently starring at one another until Spinner's boss called for him to take the trash outside to the dumpster. Feeling that he was about to get much desired information, Spinner dejectedly left the booth and started to the back doorway. Hazel looked down at the table for a minute thinking whenever she realized that Paige and Jay were still in the back ally. She rushed up from the table hoping that she would be able to stop Spinner._

-------------  
(Spinner's POV) Stupid boss. Stupid job. Stupid… stupidity! I'm telling you, I had Hazel eating out of the palm of my hand! Two more minutes with her and I would have been able to get Paige back into my life. Stupid trash bags! **_Spinner opened the door leading to the ally and saw "two people" leaning against the wall making out._** Whoa! Talk about a secret place to make out… **_Paige starts giggling as Jay is tracing her necklace with his finger and leaning closer to kiss her._** Wait a minute… I know that laugh. I could never forget that laugh… Paige

Spinner: Paige?

The girl jumped when I called out her name and finally I could see her face… The guy she was with turned to face me and I couldn't believe the sight that was right in front of me. Paige Michalchuk and Jay Hogart; the love of my life and the life of the ravine, together.

Spinner: What the hell…!  
Paige: Spinner! I…  
Spinner: What do you think you're doing!

Before I knew it I had dropped the bag of trash I had been carrying and was charging towards Jay. I shoved him back against the wall and held his neck up with arm. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Paige standing besides the two of us with a look of complete shock and agony in her eyes. Before I could even think to realize what I was doing Paige began to beg me to stop and I heard the door to the dot open once more. I faintly heard Hazel let out a scream and then saw a blur as she ran to Paige's side grabbing her hand.

Paige: Spinner please! Stop it, you're hurting him! _PLEASE!_

I turned to face Paige and saw a tear escape her face. I let go of Jay and backed up. Jay started coughing and rubbing the area of his neck that was now turning a fierce red while Hazel held on tighter to Paige's arm as if she needed to hold the blonde up and Paige just stood starring at me crying.

Spinner: Fine! If you want to be with that two-timing, lying, piece of trailer scum who's incapable of love instead of me then go right ahead and be miserable!

Paige clenched her jaw and started to shake her head as I backed up into the door and walked into the dot again. I knew that she wanted to say something, but there was no way that I was going to stay to hear it…

-------------  
Hazel: Are you two ok?  
Jay: Yea, um… we're fine.

(Jay's POV) I personally had the desire to go beat the crap out of Mason right now, and aside from the fact that it felt like my throat had a cherry-bomb inside of it, I just wanted to make sure that Paige was ok. Hazel remained glued to her side as she stood with a pist off expression on her face and tears sitting in her eyes.

Hazel: Paige? Sweety…  
Paige: Where the hell does he get off! He has absolutely _NO_ right, **whatsoever**—…  
Jay: Hey come here.

I did something I normally wouldn't do and pulled Princess into a hug. I could feel her take a deep breath and I continued talking.

Jay: Spinner Mason is an illiterate moron. The guy can hardly keep a goldfish alive let alone a good relationship.

What the hell am I saying? When has the word relationship ever even come out of my mouth?

Paige: Haze I'll meet you inside ok?  
Hazel: Sure…

Hazel gave Paige a hug and then walked back into the dot. Paige turned to me once again, and instead of looking angry, she just looked tired…

Paige: I guess the worst is over.

The way I see, this is only the beginning. There's no way in hell anybody at school is going to be ok with Princess Prissy making out with the one and only Jay Hogart… I guess I'm just gunna have to take my own advice for once and let people think what they want. That's basically the way I live my life anyways…

Jay: If _Spinner Mason _was the worst of your worries—  
Paige: **Don't** finish that sentence.  
Jay: Screw it… tonight will just be me and you and hopefully no firemen.

As soon as I said the word 'tonight' I could see the wheels in Barbie's head spinning and I knew exactly what she was thinking about: The Dance.

Jay: No. No. No. No, no, no. No!

Paige started moving closer to me and placed a small grin on her face as she wrapped her arms around my neck and started trailing kisses from my earlobe to my chest.

Paige: Spin… and… Hazel… know… … it's… only… a few… hours… … pleaaase….  
Jay: No way! It's not happ—

Before I could finish my sentence her mouth was pressed to mine once more and her tongue was gently massaging mine. I could feel her warm breath inside of my mouth while her hands made circles on my chest. Damn this girl is good. Once the kiss was over Paige pulled back and looked up at me with those eyes that I've come to hate because of their power.

Jay: I'll pick you up at eight.  
Paige: Eeek!  
Jay: Yea go inside little miss manipulative!  
Paige: I'd be glad to my dear chauffeur!  
Jay: Damnit…

(Paige's POV) Perfect dress, amazing make-up, soon to be desirable boyfriend… at least Jay's _sorta_ my boyfriend. I mean sure we have an amazing time together no matter what it is that we're doing, and I so love being around him, but we haven't actually gotten to the "let's talk about our relationship" stage yet… I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, granted the fact that I'm pretty sure Jay is completely oblivious to the sheer _existence of _a "let's talk about our relationship" stage. Oh well, tonight is all about our cotillion into high school life as we know it, and I just hope to god that nothing tres dramatic happens…

Jay: You should really start locking that window you know.

I jumped in my chair at the sound of Jay's voice not knowing that he was inside. As soon as my eyes caught glance of him in the mirror I was practically permanently placed in front of, I eased myself back to a normal heartbeat.

Paige: _You_ should really **stop** scaring me half to death by sneaking in here! I do have a front door you know!  
Jay: Yea, but the window just has more of a Hogart vibe going… besides, I'm taking you to this stupid pumpkin fest aren't I?  
Paige: Although it's going to be rather difficult for you, please try to silence your utter disgrosement of the dance until the night is over. In order for me to _not_ go into a complete anxiety attack I really need to have confidence in the fact that I'm not making numerous errors in judgment.  
Jay: What did you do, come home and swallow a dictionary? You just used about 15 ten-syllable words.

I smiled as Jay tossed his hat on the table and slumped onto his usual spot on my crimson coloured couch. Truth be told I have a tendency to use larger words when I'm nervous, I just never thought that anybody noticed.

Jay: What are you so smiley about?  
Paige: Oh nothing, I just didn't think that you knew what the word 'syllable' meant is all.  
Jay: Nice one Princess…  
Paige: I try… So, how do I look?  
Jay: Do you really want me to answer that?  
Paige: Come on Hogart I'm being serious here.  
Jay: And so am I.  
Paige: Does it really look that bad?  
Jay: You do realize that you're talking to me right? I mean I'm not your bestest-buddy Hazel and I'm **definitely** not big brother Dylan.  
Paige: I guess you _do_ lack the fashion gene… and speaking of fashion, I'm impressed.

I remained seated as I glanced over Jay's current apparel. Nothing too fancy, but undeniably an improvement from the usual bad-boy façade I was half expecting to see tonight.

Jay: Yea well, I figure if I'm gunna be forced to go to this "thing" I might as well make it seem like I lost a bet and am being forced to wear dorky clothes.  
Paige: You like them and you know it!  
Jay: No, I like that _you_ like them, because now not only do you owe me big time for going to this stupid dance, **but** you think I look hot.  
Paige: Ok, can we just go already mister egomaniacal!  
Jay: Car's out front Barbie.

I rolled my eyes as I started for the stairs pushing Jay in front of me as I stood.

(Jay's POV) Friday night, and I'm on my way to Degrassi High's "Fall Ball". Can you say manipulated? How about psychotic? I mean when in my life have I ever let some girl push me around… some hot, sexy girl who can work wonders with her mouth. I mean the things that Princess can do with that mouth would amaze even her closest friends. And those eyes too… those eyes hold a hypnotic power that makes you wanna—Wait! What the hell am I thinking? I'm supposed to be mad at Little Miss Mind Games… to hell with it. The second I look at her face its all gunna leap out of my head anyways.

Jay: Alright Princess, your magnificent dance awaits you.  
Paige: Wow, any more sarcasm and I think the car would explode. What's wrong with you?  
Jay: Oh nothing, just that I'm at a school dance instead of—  
Paige: What? Going down to the ravine? No pun intended.  
Jay: I was going to say instead of being alone with you, but being with you at the ravine would be a bit more fun.  
Paige: Don't get your hopes up Jason; I'm not a ravine whore.  
Jay: You're so cute when you're cynical.

Paige smiled and rolled her eyes, a gesture that I had come to learn meant "kiss me before you make me mad again", and so I leaned over the center console of my car and kissed her lightly before she took off her seat belt and let out a large breath.

Paige: Well, I guess we'd better get in there. Hazel was expecting us a half hour ago.  
Jay: Look, why don't we just blow this off. Go back to your place, order take-out, watch a movie…

I started trailing my hand up and down her arm as she looked at me almost as if she were considering what I was saying. Unfortunately, I think we both knew that there was no chance off walking away from this dance now.

Jay: Ok, ok. Let's do this.  
Paige: Let's do it.

Paige smiled as she and I both got out of the car, and I instinctively latched her arm into mine as we walked up the steps to the front doors of Degrassi. Once we got there she parted from my arm as I opened the door and we both stepped inside of the dimly-lit foyer.

Jay: What is it about you that can make me act like such a—  
Paige: Unless you're going to say gentleman, don't even _think_ about finishing that sentence.  
Jay: Well you know me, that's for sure.

Paige let out a quiet laugh as I put my arm around her shoulder and we started for the door to the gym.

Jay: Now you see, laughing isn't so hard now is it.  
Paige: Shut up Hogart. Let's do this thing.

Paige and I each pulled on the handles for the doors we were standing in front of, and it seemed as though a silence came over the entire dance.

(Paige's POV) Jay and I stood there in the doorway practically frozen (me out of complete anxiety, and Jay most likely out of a fierce distaste for school oriented functions… and school for that matter). Jay's right arm stayed placed around my shoulder and after a split second that seemed to last an hour, I glanced up to Jay and put on my infamous Michalchuk smirk that soon turned into a smile as we started into the gymnasium. I'm pretty sure that everybody I cared about (and those who I harbor an extreme grudge against) were all front and center for mine and Jay's appearance, and honestly, I don't think that I would be able to have it any other way. My friends should be happy for me, and my enemies should be jealous. That's the order of high school life as we all know it… it's been that way ever since I started at degrassi, and I'm not about to change social rules. So, as Jay and I made our way from the entrance doors over to the table that I could see Hazel and Jimmy at, I smiled and waved at those who I cared to do so with, and gave a smug grin to those whom shall not be named… I guess Jay is rubbing off on me.

Hazel: Paige, you look amazing! I can't believe you found that killer dress in only 5 hours!  
Paige: Well, my shopping skills **do** astonish even me. Thanks Haze.  
Hazel: And Jay… you know, you actually look acceptable.  
Jay: I'll take that as a compliment Aden. Brookes.  
Jimmy: Jay.

Hazel and I both looked quizzically between Jimmy and Jay before letting out pairs of girlish laughter.

Paige: Well, before the two of you get _any_ more vague, how about a toast to commemorate this momentous occasion?  
Jimmy: I got lost at commemorate.  
Jay: I'm gunna have to go with vague.

I rolled my eyes and let out yet another laugh before picking up and handing off four punch glasses from the waiter passing by and then continuing with my speech.

Paige: This is the first official date of the Jason Hogart era, not to mention our junior year fall formal a.k.a. our _last_ official autumn school dance seeing as next year our first one is in December. So, let's raise these cheap, generic, plastic cups that the school insists upon buying and make a toast to us.  
Hazel: Cheers!  
Jay & Jimmy: Cheers…

I swallowed the tiny sip of punch and smiled as I looked to Jay who for the first time that night didn't look like he was going to keel over from being at school after hours and not vandalizing anything. Unfortunately, not everything always goes according to plan… actually, nothing ever goes according to plan.

Spinner: Well I see that you're still suffering from brain damage.  
Paige: Actually, once I stopped giving you the time of day I recovered quite nicely. Fortunately for me, the condition was only temporary, unlike in your case where the situation is much more permanent. Now, can we help you with something? Or better yet, do we want to?

Jay began to suppress a laugh as Spinner looked like he was about to boil over with anger, and Jimmy was flat out boiling over with amusement.

Spinner: I hope you enjoy the illusion while it lasts buddy. Believe me; your little Princess turns into pumpkin before you have time to blink.  
Hazel: Why don't you just leave before you get beat up _worse_ than you did at Jimmy's party?

Spinner looked from Hazel to Jay to me and then walked away ending up on the dance floor with Manny.

Jimmy: The guy's my friend and all, but I have to admit, that was worth seeing.

I averted my eyes from the gruesome sight of Spinner dancing with Manny (who had the most annoying "I have him and you don't" look on her face) and let out a small laugh at Jimmy's obvious delight.

Paige: If he wants to think that he's ruler of the world, then _somebody_ needs to give him the facts.  
Jimmy: I'm just _so glad _that somebody gets to be you.  
Paige: That makes four of us. Now, let's just forget about hair-boy and enjoy this dance.  
Hazel: Cheers to that!

Hazel, Jimmy, myself, and shockingly even Jay laughed at the comment, and as we all set our drinks down, we paired off and went to the dance floor (by which dragging was the only way to get to said space).

_Pull the hair back from your eyes,  
Let the people see your pretty face  
Try not to say anything weird-_

Save your questions without answers,  
Till you're old enough to know  
That things aint as they appear

Be first in line, raise your hand  
Remember everything you hear  
And playing in the rain is worth catching cold

Sooner or later- we'll be looking' back on everything  
And well laugh about it like we knew what all was happening and  
Someday you might listen to what people have to say  
Now you learn the hard way...

We only want what's best for you  
That's why we tell you what to do  
And never mind if nothing makes sense  
Cause it all works out in the end

Sooner or later- we'll be looking' back on everything  
And well laugh about it like we knew what all was happening  
And someday you might listen to what people have to say  
Now you learn the hard way...

Some things you have to learn  
Them all on your own  
You can't rely on anybody else  
Or the point of view of a source unknown

If it feels good, & sounds nice, then it's your choice  
Don't doubt yourself don't even think twice

Pull the hair back from your eyes,  
Let the people see your pretty face  
You know they like it when you smile (find a reason to smile)  
Try not to focus on yourself share that love with someone else  
Don't let the bitters bring you down (down)  
Don't let anything bring you down

Sooner or later- we'll be looking' back on everything  
And well laugh about it like we knew what all was happening and  
Someday (someday) you might listen  
To what people have to say (someday you might listen to what people have to say)  
Now you learn the hard way…  
(Sooner or later)

Ok, before i forget, the lyrics at the end of this part of the chapter are "Sooner or Later" by Michael Tolcher (aka the 'Life As We Know It' theme song)... secondly, I _really_ hope that you guys liked the second chunk of the chapter Anyways, stay tuned for a "Jay Hogart" moment inside of the dance, and an ending scene very tv worthy (in my opinion)... Thanks again to all you great fans who take the time to read and reply... without you i don't know if i would be just as inspired (and i would definately not be able to make an authors note sound like an award acceptance speech! )


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